Entry eighth of All About U,
I enjoy listening to the beats of ICT - Makavenna as I read.
Z, why do I say it is all about you? Because it is true. But the same applies to me. If I was to live just for you, I would not make time for myself, would suffer and hurt, breaking down possibly, and not worrying about my health as I should. Ironically it seems to others that I do not take care of myself when in fact I do. I think about you and the things I want to accomplish for you, but in teaching you that it is all about you I take the time to work on the things that I want to do and show you by example and written journal entries. I am starting with my stories before flying airplanes. One day I will be documenting my journal entries as an official pilot, not just a student pilot. The dream is there for me to reach, I have already initiated many tasks to get there. Imagine a thousand piece puzzle with a detailed picture of an airplane just out the box. In order to accomplish it will take concentration, research, trying out pieces to see if they fit, and keep persisting to complete my mission. My project is barely out of the box and I am working my way to my journey as I also look for ways to document it but staying up on the latest technology. This is why I have been searching for ways to implement the artwork and writing that I do as NFTs.
Today, January 26th, 2024 is a special day for my mother as she celebrates her 70th birthday. Born in El Salvador, she is now a citizen of the United States. She is happy to see you, her great-granddaughter who is only two years old. Little do you really know who she is. But you brought a great joy and smile to her face to see you and hold you for a few minutes. She has lived to make it this far and her mother lived to about between 85 to 89 years old before she passed away. May she live a long life as well. I am excited to be able to reach such age and wish the same for my daughter and you, my granddaughter. To be able to see the family grow and be as you prepare to rest after a good 90 years and above. May my grandmother rest in peace and be happy in any form she may be now.
I remember seeing her the last time she was able to visit us in the United States. A couple years before her passing. She giggles so much and said what she wanted to say without regret. She picked on her daughters and grandchildren. One, she asked her when that cousin of mine was going to get married. Each one of us, she had her smart remarks to make joyfully without a care in the world. I still see her sometimes. The vision is very clear.
Imagine being in the same plane as the rest of them. Each can only see what is in front and side. Each only being able to see what they allow themselves to see and accept only what they choose to accept. But I see my grandmother watching us like a television series about her family. She can see and anticipate events by watching from a different angle, a different point of view. I see her laughing at us, or trying to tell us like anybody entangled onto their favorite drama show talking to the tube in a room all alone. “Watch out!” she might scream. A question for me to ask is how far have I traveled to where I can see her watching us from above, or some sort of television set and she not see or sense me, from my point of view. What dimension did I travel to and which dimension is she in? Does not really matter though. It brings me joy to watch her laughing and enjoying herself.
So when I say all about you I am talking to me?
Absolutely. After my stabbing and court cases they asked me if I needed counseling. I told them no, did not want to cost the old man anything more than I had already cost him almost being killed. A big part of me felt like I did it. It was my fault. I felt I had to live what he had always told me and that was take it like a man. Especially back then. So I did. I was only sixteen and I decided I did not need counseling. I would just take it as a punishment, a lesson for me to learn. But I did need help though. At the time listening to Tupac and his near death experience made me feel like it was alright. He got shot five times and still got up and kept fighting. I decided then that I was going to do something similar. I never said I wanted to be the next 2pac. I have always wanted to tell my story as a warning for anyone who might need to listen, including myself.
To this day my folks ask what am I getting from writing. Who makes money drawing? What poetry? Who cares about a story? This they asked when I was a teen! It was hard to understand that maybe I did need counseling or maybe I didn’t. Maybe I was meant to write what I write and do what I do. And maybe it is important to tell it all to you. So that you may avoid similar traps and low frequencies, be an alchemist and transform that energy into fuel to keep doing something even when others tell you not to. It turned out that these stories and moment in our story were important to your mother as she became a teen. She also struggled with identity, as we all do around this time after twelve. We would take her stories and my stories and create rhymes that we wanted to put on beat. You can call it rapping or not. It’s up to you. One thing we did do is find beats with all sorts of moods and touched on all kinds of topics. We did this to help each other out with the moments we went through. It wasn’t always easy. But it has been fun being a single father raising my daughter to be a good mother raising another leader, you.
However, when I first started I had no knowledge and having a daughter or meeting you. I thought I was going to have a short life. And there was my younger sister and baby brother in my life. I thought should I did in my teens may my work help you succeed when you think of me. Don’t cry for me, there’s be better place I’d rather be.
But I survived and I know I have been blessed. To wake up one more day to this hurtful world of stress. - Words Of Wisdom
I had to find a way to cope with all the lessons I had learned at such a young age. The only way I could think of is turn them into stories with lessons like the songs that did the same from me when I would hear “Keep Your Head Up” or “Me Against The World” from Tupac Shakur. I wrote. I wrote several poems and more than likely there was a beat playing in my head when I was writing the lyrics. But they were stories I wrote into poems after everything that had happened to me at age sixteen, everything that was happening and everything that would happen afterwards.
By the time that the first book was published I had written and typed over a hundred poems or lyrics. Not only that, they were all categorized and separated into three different books that I planned on publishing.
All About U - a collection of poems reflecting the challenges and hopes to stay positive.
All About Me (My Life In Hell) - which would be all those poems that seems negative.
The Truth I Speak - a book that would tell the truth from both sides and maybe a third perspective as well. Explaining how there would be one book so positive and one so negative, all written in poetic form as well. It was the truth I speak. The three books were from the one hundred poems I wrote at that time broken down and put into what seemed to tell a story from beginning to end.
I only reached publishing one book before I ended up in another mess for a later story to tell. It is a work of art that has been going through its growth as well. From poems written and typed, to published into physical books. Only to sit there for years. When Tatianna Pearl wanted to make music we had to look for inspiration. We had to think of ways to tell a story. We had questions about where to start. I made a suggestion and we started looking at the poetry book I wrote years before she was born. And so was the rebirth of the story All About U, and here is a link to the Lyrics to All About U on Genius, if you would like to read them. I am glad I never gave up on my dream. I am grateful to have recorded it and other songs with my daughter. I am grateful you were born and you get to hear the music we did and hopefully it helps you in your future.
Two teach four teach forever more!
I am writing this series with the music “All About U” Inspired Creative Thinkers Playlist all for you Z and your Generation Alpha. This is my entry 008, written on this Friday the 26th of January 2024.
I usually think of myself teaching you all this stuff as soon as you start asking. So I am trying to stay ahead, although there is so much to learn and I am doing my best to keep up with you. Take care and talk soon. Love you Baby Pearl
Index and Outline of chapters to come. Thank you for being a part of a great journey.
It is All About U, Z Entry 008
Entry 9 - What the cover shows
Entry 10 - What the future holds
AlexAirLuna
