I've always been enamored by the beauty of communication across cultures. From the rhythmic flow of Albanian, my mother tongue, to the complex of Japanese, language learning has been a passionate journey for me. Today, I'm excited to share the story of how I embraced the challenge of learning Japanese, along with some insights into my experiences with other languages such as English, Italian and Spanish.
As you know, I’m a native-born Albanian, so my mother tongue is Albanian. I grew up in a small town in the South and lived there until I was 18 years old before moving to the capital, Tirana. Of course, I was taught in school how to write and speak Albanian. People often ask me, "When you dream, what language do you speak in?" I usually say, "Not Japanese”, jokingly. Actually, I'm not even sure anymore if it's in Albanian or English. But of course, Albanian sounds beautiful to me because I love to hear my mother’s voice when she talks to me. For me, that’s the most beautiful voice in the world.
Italian Dream - Intermediate Level
Growing up in school, it was compulsory to for us to study foreign languages. In some schools the options were French, Italian and English. Almost the entire population of Albania speaks and knows some Italian. We grew up with a love for their TV programs, shows, and radio. We were deeply enamored by the 'Italian Dream'; it sounded beautiful, and they appeared so elegant in the movies. In the mornings, they would take an espresso shot or a cappuccino, and the ladies would wear elegant clothes, adorned with pearls. Their fashion style and elegance were simply captivating. If you're somewhat familiar with the Italian entertainment business, you'd know of Adriano Celentano, Eros Ramazzotti, Monica Bellucci, Sophia Loren, Raul Bova, and so on.
The culinary influence was evident too; since we are also a Mediterranean country, staples like olive oil, tomatoes, feta cheese for us, and mozzarella for them are essential throughout the summer and the entire year. So, I studied Italian in school, perhaps for a straight 8 years. The thing is, now at this age (having not practiced Italian for a long time), I can read it but find it a bit challenging to recall words when speaking.
English - I consider it my second mother tongue, but for others, it's just fluent.
The second, well, the third language I speak is English, which I consider myself fluent in. Since my teenage years, influenced by art and Hollywood, I thought English was very 'cool'. But it wasn't just that; it evoked thoughts of 'my American dream'. I would often dream of living in Chinatown in New York, where I would be friends with everyone in the neighborhood. A bit whimsical, but I cherished that genuine adolescent sentiment. The truth is, when I speak in English, I feel more like myself. It provides a freedom of expression, allowing me to articulate my thoughts without reservation. Somehow, I'm also more candid when I speak in English. I learned the basics, like grammar, in school, but I excelled more in speaking than writing. This proficiency was mostly influenced by movies and songs.
Back then, we didn't have YouTube. So, we had CDs of famous songs from Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, The Eagles, Scorpions, and later ones with Eminem, 50 Cent, 2PAC, and so forth. My cousin, who is still my best friend, and I would listen to the songs repeatedly, penning down the lyrics on paper. Regrettably, I don't have photos of those cherished notes, but it was an everyday activity for us — an absolute delight. Initially, we understood little, but with time and exposure to English songs, I grew accustomed to the pronunciation and developed fluency. I realized that I was proficient in English not just from studying it, but from listening to it. So, to frame it better, I would write and then read the sentence aloud. If it didn't sound right, there was likely an error.
Another exercise I often engaged in, which some might find quirky, was to hold imaginary dialogues in English with myself. For instance, I would detail what I had for dinner or describe my day at school. Gradually, I began to think in English, and the more I practiced these mental conversations, the better I became. This nightly routine before sleep deepened my affinity for American culture and the English language. I still adore English and hold it close to my heart. However, knowing the language isn't enough; understanding the culture is essential. Adopting the mindset of a 'free person', I developed characteristics akin to those in the USA. I familiarized myself with their culture through comedic movies like those of Adam Sandler, TV series like "Friends", and some silly shows such as MTV Cribs, and "Pimp My Ride". I recall the awe we felt watching MTV showcase celebrity homes, like Mariah Carey's; such luxury was unparalleled, especially in my country back then.
So here are some of the key takeaways on English Language Learning:
Listening to their music
Watching movies, dramas, or TV shows
Writing song lyrics
And most important: Thinking in English
Spanish Language - Silent Listener
Then came Spanish, which is very similar to Italian. To be honest, I never studied or received formal education in this language. In the 2000s, our primary source of afternoon entertainment was Spanish telenovelas, specifically from Mexico. Every night from Monday to Friday, a new episode of a drama from Telemundo would air. "Paloma," "Ruby," "Maribel," and so on, were all famous names from these dramas. Everyone would watch and discuss them, especially women. In class, we'd dive into gossip, speculating about the events of the next episode. Just like that, I learned Spanish, simply by listening to it. I do believe the brain is like a sponge when you're young, so this isn't surprising. While I can't write in Spanish, I can speak it when necessary. However, I mainly understand the conversation, making me more of a silent listener.
Japanese Level - N3: So many kanjis I still don't know, and keigo in progress
Lastly, there's Japanese. My proficiency is around N3, meaning I'm not fluent but can manage daily conversations. Japanese is a language that requires immense patience, repeated trial-and-error practice with kanjis, and most importantly, you need to think like a Japanese person, internalizing all their manners, to truly speak their language.
When I first came to Japan, I had absolutely no knowledge of the language. I was hesitant and felt too self-conscious even to say "Arigato" because it felt inauthentic coming from me. Living in Japan, alone and without acquaintances, was a challenge I hadn't fully thought it. I'm inherently optimistic, always believing I'll find a solution to any problem. However, reality struck hard. At 24, I felt adrift, questioning my identity and life's direction. Nonetheless, I embraced this challenge, aiming for personal growth and clarity. I often say that Japan saved me. It provided answers to profound questions about my identity and purpose.
My early days were marked by isolation. I attended school to learn Japanese, and it was HARD. I often questioned my decision to move. I vividly recall the desolation I felt arriving at the airport in Narita with no one to greet me, a reminder of my solitude. I initially stayed in a capsule room in Kabukicho, a cramped space typically used by travelers who miss their trains. The room's confines triggered claustrophobia, and I was crying for my whole staying every night. The worst part was I felt I can not show this to anyone, for example If I tell my parents or friends they would say to me simply just return and I did not want that. During this phase, convenience store, onigiris( rice balls) and 7-Eleven coffee became staples for me. That time school helped me in securing a place to stay too. Indeed after having a place to stay, I felt “rich”. Having no roof upon your head is indeed one of the hardest things I experienced. Another challenge was obtaining a phone number and bank account. Lacking a credit card, I faced a Catch-22*: needing a bank account to get a phone number and vice versa. For six months, I relied solely on public Wi-Fi. Despite the hurdles, I eventually opened a bank account. This experience underscores the interconnectedness of systems in Japan and the need for patience and adaptability.
On my first day of class, we were taught hiragana and katakana in a single session. I naively thought, "Japanese is easy!" How mistaken I was. The truth is, for a long time, the Japanese language was used as a barrier to keep foreigners at bay. The Tokugawa Shogunate government (1603-1868) even made it a capital offense to teach the language to foreigners. In the 16th century, when the first foreigners arrived in Japan, they commented that the Japanese language was so difficult it seemed as if it had been constructed by the Devil. The only ones who developed fluency were those brought as children or born in Japan. The Japanese shogunate and clan governments regularly used the language as a barrier in dealings with foreigners. This policy remained in effect until the fall of the Shogunate in 1868. Nowadays, only 10-15% of long-term residents can speak the Japanese language fluently.
I enrolled in a Japanese school and graduated within a year. I believed the key to learning Japanese was to think of kanjis as drawings or pictures. By incorporating fun and creative methods, I was able to remember many kanjis. Another challenge was that I had never heard the Japanese language before coming here, so my listening skills were quite poor. However, I took the initiative to go to the countryside to teach English through a homestay program. Staying with that family gave me a sense of the Japanese language. Sometimes the kids would speak to me in Japanese, and their words were simple and easy to understand. I was invited to dine with the host's family during the summer, where they had prepared various Japanese dishes. It was my first time eating with a family in a Japanese home. Up until that point, my diet consisted of convenience store food, Hanamaru Udon, Sukiyaki, Saizeriya, Gasto, and other affordable chains, so I had limited knowledge of authentic Japanese cuisine. At the family meal, I sampled a variety of dishes, including potato salad, soba, sake, tempura, onigiri, egg sandwiches, and many others. Immersing myself in the beautiful Toyama countryside, I caught a glimpse of Japanese housing and family lifestyle.
Here are some photos of me in country side and my graduation from the Japanese school:
Shortly after graduating the language school, I began working for a food and media company in Japan. Here, I learned business 'keigo', the polite form of Japanese, as well as its kanjis and expressions. I was compelled to think in Japanese and take notes as well. It was an intense experience; I recall my jaw aching from speaking a different language, and I was exhausted by the end of the day. It felt like undergoing military discipline. The Japanese language has several levels designed to fit the appropriate social rank of the speaker. To use it effectively, one needs to understand the complex system of inferior-superior ranking. Being the youngest in the team, I often felt like a 'servant'. My roles ranged from cleaning to fixing, and other tasks that had nothing to do with my contract role. I had the duty of pouring beer for my boss and ensuring my glass was never raised to the same level as his. For important matters, I practiced 'nemawashi'(prior consultation), which involves informing concerned parties in advance about topics to be discussed, ensuring they are prepared. These nuances were integral to daily Japanese business life.
Even the art of bowing was a skill to be mastered. I recall an instance when, after a mistake on our part, I had to apologize. I gave a slight bow, but my boss placed his hand on my shoulder and pushed me into a deep, 90-degree bow. This rigorous Japanese training was challenging, but if asked whether I'd go through it again, I'd say yes.
In countries like the USA or Albania, emphasis is placed on the 'self'. However, in Japan, I felt I had to somewhat give away my sense of self to truly understand them. Rest assured now, I have a strong sense of self-awareness and am not oppressed, but at times, it felt as if my essence had been taken from me.
What helped me learn Japanese?
Patience: Learning a new language requires time and persistence.
Drawing Kanjis: Treat it as fun to draw kanjis. It requires practice, and you need the 'ganbaru spirit', which is to 'never give up'.
Listening: Engage with Japanese media as much as you can, be it Anime, songs, or TV programs.
Volunteer Work: Work in the countryside to gain firsthand experience and immerse yourself in the language.
Work Experience: I joined a small company and learned about most business matters in Japanese. There are many part time jobs which you can do as well.
Interact with Locals: Chat with the elderly, visit izakayas (local bars), and just listen even if you do not understand anything. Buy someone a drink and strike up a conversation.
Educate Yourself: Read works by Boye Lafayette de Mente, who is a master of all things Japanese. You'll gain many insights from him.
Japanese Novels: Read novels by authors like Soseki, Akutagawa, Banana Yoshimoto, and others to further your understanding.
Embrace Your Identity: Remember, even if you've mastered the language, you were born outside of Japan and will always have your unique perspective.
Lastly, the Japanese language is deeply intertwined with the thought processes and behaviors of the Japanese. Thus, it's nearly impossible to speak it correctly without understanding how to think and behave the way the Japanese do. At the same time, if a foreigner speaks the language fluently, some Japanese might find it uncomfortable because they feel they can't keep things hidden from them. On the other hand, if a foreigner doesn't speak it fluently but shows even the slightest proficiency, it's often unexpected and surprising to them. For most people, achieving practical fluency in Japanese requires six or more hours of intensive study and daily use for about nine months. I've been living in Japan for six years now, so it's been a continuous journey of passive learning.
Photo of learning tea ceremony and calligraphy classes. The kanji that I chose is Ichigo Ichie (一期一会）means a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That has become my motto for life.
Calligraphy classes and Tea Ceremony Class
Finally, I want to share the benefits of Learning a New Language for the Brain:
Enhanced Cognitive Plasticity: Learning a foreign language stimulates extensive neural networks. This boosts various cognitive abilities, such as working memory, inductive reasoning, sound discrimination, speech segmentation, task switching, rule learning, and semantic memory (Ware et al., 2017).
Memory Boost: Learning a language involves memorization (for new words and rules) and recall (for in-class activities). Regular use of a second language strengthens memory. Research indicates that bilingual individuals, regardless of when they learned the language, consistently outperform monolinguals in memory tests. Both short-term and long-term memory benefit from language learning.
Empathy Development: Language learning enhances empathy, a critical trait for success in acquiring a second language. Understanding and connecting with another culture through its language can increase one's ability to relate to others.
Improved Perspective-Taking: Speaking a second language improves the ability to see things from various viewpoints. This broadened perspective can significantly enhance communication skills by understanding others better.
Complex Brain Storage: Contrary to past beliefs that languages had specific storage areas in the brain, recent research suggests that language storage is more intricate and distributed. There isn't a singular location in the brain designated for a particular foreign language. Instead, multiple areas of the brain collaborate and engage when processing and producing languages.
In conclusion, learning a new language is not just about communicating in different parts of the world; it's an exercise that offers profound benefits for the brain, enhancing cognitive abilities, memory, empathy, and perspective-taking.
Notes:
Catch-22 Definition*: A "Catch-22" refers to a problematic situation for which the solution is prevented by a set of contradictory constraints. It's essentially an impossible circumstance due to conflicting or interdependent conditions. Source: Collins Dictionary
Reference Materials:
Japan Unmasked by Boye Lafayette de Mente.
How Learning a Language Changes Your Brain - An article from Cambridge University Press.
Cellular Atlas of a Human Brain Language Area - Research conducted by a team of international scientists and presented by Mount Sinai.
Nippon Data - Additional information related to Japan.
