This weekend, I was solo parenting my two kids while my husband was away on a three-week work trip. I shared a few so-called “survival tips for solo parents” on Instagram—mostly as a way to stay sane and crowdsource ideas.

I'm not going to lie: This mode is really intense. Particularly with a full stack work life, I find myself crashing into the weekend after a 60-hour workweek without a lot of creativity or energy left to keep up with two kiddos.

After my post, I got a lot of encouragement, support, and other "micro-hacks" from other parents who have been there, done that (or, are in the trenches right now). One friend, Julia Austin, sent me a blog post that she wrote in 2016, reflecting on how she juggled life as the CTO of a fast-growing tech company while solo parenting three daughters.

The crux is this: When you’re in the thick of a marathon, it helps to focus not on the pain of mile 24, but on the feeling of mile 26. In other words: Picture the finish line. Not because it makes everything easier, but because it gives you something to run toward.

I loved the metaphor of likening the tough moments of being a working parent to running a marathon. It's not a sprint but a long, slow burn.

Bedtime with two little girls is totally cute. And totally chaotic. (image source: Flux)

And sure, some nights it feels like you can barely make it past bedtime—what with the tumbles, the tears, and the room getting trashed like it hosted a bachelorette party. But somehow, like a Vegas casino that goes completely off the rails every night, everything resets. Everyone ends up in a bed. The sun comes up the next day, the lights flick back on, the floor gets mopped, and the whole show starts again. And there you are, somehow (miraculously), still running.

Julia offers a lot of great recommendations for how she managed such a full schedule and such a high level of output. What I love about her reflection is that she's very self-aware of both her competing priorities and her need to stay balanced with things that ground her (ie: spa days, running or yoga, saying no with intention, and permission to let things slip).

Reading that this morning inspired me to share some of my current solo parenting hacks–both the practical stuff, and the less tangible emotional bootstrapping.

Practical Solo Parenting Hacks

Over the past year, I’ve gotten pretty good at hacking my way through multiple work projects by using AI to get ahead of myself in small, meaningful ways. This is much how I approach my parenting style too. I’m constantly scanning for shortcuts, the easier way, or the tiny thing I can shave off a bigger thing, just to buy myself back a few minutes (or seconds) of peace of mind.

Here are some of those things:

Weekday Solo Parenting Hacks

Extend pickup nanny or babysitter for 2 late nights a week (one for a work thing, one for a personal thing) so I don't have to do bedtime every night of the week
Pre-plan all meals; have a split of home-cooked meals, leftovers, and frozen meals / takeout
Remove morning meetings (it's really hard for me to crash into a 9am meeting when I didn't have time to clear my inbox yet after drop-off every day)
Bulk buy snacks to make lunch and after-school snacks easier
Book a recurring housekeeper to help with cleanup
Opt for laundry delivery (vs. trying to get to drop-off and laundry drop-off at the same time)

Weekend Solo Parenting Hacks

Pizza dinners every Friday (preferably with friends)
I nap while kids nap (or, if they don't nape, they watch a movie while I take a nap_)
Forego the grocery store trip for an Instacart order instead
Get out of the house at least 1x/day (we do diner breakfast every Sunday)
Kids play while I cook dinner (also gives me a little solo time)
Book a sitter for a 4-hour block one weekend day (the trick for me here is using this for personal time, not more work time or chores)
Getting kids to pick up my hobbies with me (ie: gardening, exploring museums, etc.)

But as Julia pointed out, streamlining the logistical elements of parenting is only part of the equation.

The other part is largely psychological and emotional, and that's a whole other set of things to manage. I find that keeping my emotional needs under control takes me a lot more work than any of the other stuff. Here are some of those things:

How I Keep Myself Motivated

1-2 weeknights a week where I'm kid-free
Writing every day (not just "a thing I do for work," this habit has become a basic need)
Highly curated motivational playlists (music is really motivating to me; I'm really deliberate about the vibes I choose to keep me moving)
Gardening (my mood is noticeably better when I can get back outside into my rooftop garden, the daily tending is a really grounding habit)
Yoga and other group fitness classes (though, on pause at the moment as I figure out some health stuff)
Cozy wine bars with a glass of pinot noir and a book (harder to come by these days, but always the best)

The Show Must Go On

I know everyone has their own version of, "what makes life hard right now." In our family, our tension always tends to exist at the intersection of ambition and hectic work schedules. I owe a lot to the entertainment industry, but it takes a lot to be on the team that's always saying, "The show must go on." And that means working a lot of nights and weekends.

Just like a Broadway musical, or a live event, parenting is the same way. Whether you're ready or not, the show must go on. Your kids still need to eat, sleep, and make it out of the house to school every day.

Some of these hacks and habits have helped me, and I hope they help you, too. I'm sharing because I want to both normalize the reality of trying to do a lot of things at once, and because I'm genuinely curious to hear how other folks manage it.

After all, if we want a new generation of innovators to fully seize this moment of technological transformation, we need to build systems that account for the chaos mode so many people are managing—especially on nights, weekends, and in between all the visible moments.

The show must go on. (image source: Flux)

Running the Solo Parenting Marathon (and Other Micro-Hacks That Actually Help)