I have a very intelligent friend who no longer pays attention to the news. “It just stresses me out,” he says, “and I can’t do anything about any of it. It’s not that I don’t care, I just care about my sanity more.”
The word care comes from an Old English word (carian) meaning, “be anxious, grieve, feel concern or interest,” and a Proto-Germanic root (karo) meaning, “to grieve.”
Sounds upsetting.
So why do we care? Especially when things seem bleak, why take an interest in people who won’t listen to us or circumstances we can’t change?
It turns out that caring is our nature, and — even though it may not always feel good in the moment — it’s actually good for us.
We need to put our energy somewhere. Maybe it will help to know that the modern definition of care is more action-oriented. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, care is defined as “the process of protecting someone or something and providing what that person or thing needs.”
Neuroscience and research on resilience have confirmed that when we act on our feelings of empathy and compassion, and we voluntarily help others, we experience a “helper’s high” — altruism releases feel-good neurotransmitters to the parts of our brain that are wired to feel pleasure.
Recent studies have shown that volunteering for a charity or a cause confers health benefits as well, lowering cortisol levels and even extending our lifespans.
Maybe Mother Theresa had a point when she said, “There is no altruism.” The care we extend to others is a form of taking care of ourselves. And if that’s true, it must work in the other direction as well. Self-care is more than naps and bubble baths; it’s a way to recharge our batteries so that we can be more present, patient, and energetic in our care for others.
My friend had a point about the headlines. I just read a couple and they made me sad and angry. That’s no way to start the day. So I’m going to reboot. I volunteer, but today this feels personal so I’m going to start small. I’m going to pour myself a cup of coffee, go for a run, jump into an unheated swimming pool, and then, before I dive into work, I’m going to call (not text or email) someone I care about. I’m going to ask them how they are. I’m going to listen. And I’m going to care.
What do you care about? Drop me a line – I’m curious!
Curiosity is worth practicing. That’s how we get better at it. When it’s done particularly well, curiosity can be elevated to an art form. Curiosity makes life worth living. I am literally Curious AF. And now you can be too! Click HERE to unlock your free membership subscription.
Here is a taste of what I’m reading, watching, and thinking about.
What I’m Reading –
After I mentioned David Lynch in last week’s newsletter, quite a few people wrote to share their connection with his work. Thanks to @Rob who pointed me to an article about pilgrimage to the setting of Lynch’s Twin Peaks. From Longreads:
SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER: I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.
“Even more than the series’ specificity of place, though, Twin Peaks is especially attuned to hauntings. Put differently, it’s interested in how physical places can hold onto the things that have happened there. Lynch holds your gaze on objects and spaces, whether the ceiling fan in Laura Palmer’s house, whose rotations grow more foreboding with each cycle, or the ripple of a red curtain (“I love curtains. Are you kidding me?”). He seems to propose that just beyond sight, there are supernatural forces at work; our familiar world and something more fantastic layer over each other like transparencies. At the same time, he refuses to prescribe meaning, instead surrendering sense-making to his audience. (Lynch was famously skeptical of written words because they lacked the ambiguity of his visual art.) In a David Lynch world is a sense of possibility.
Maybe this meld of real and unreal is also part of the strange enduring power of the places where Lynch filmed Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks offers the sense that places could be portals. “People, when they’re grieving, reach out for something tangible,” said Mary Reber, who owns the Laura Palmer House in Everett, an hour north. Their promise, then, was a connection to the intangible.”
What I’m Listening To –
Last year I went to a garage sale in Rancho Mirage (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d see myself type) and I was richly rewarded by a dentist’s collection of R&B and gospel albums on vinyl. I bought 20 for $2 each. Marvin Gaye, Ike & Tina Turner… This last Sunday church came to my house (my paternal grandparents would be proud, and the Holocaust survivors on my mom’s side would be very confused, but they’d like the music) in the form of Aretha Franklin’s Amazing Grace. Mm, mm, mm… lord have mercy. You can listen to the whole album here.
What I’m Considering –
I can’t tell whether this is a case of marshaling AI for efficiency or just two wrongs making phone calls. From Lifehacker: “This Experimental Google Feature Lets You Send Robocalls to Local Businesse. Google’s latest experimental AI feature, available to those who sign up for “Ask for me” on Google Search Labs, is aiming to be a sort of personal AI secretary for you. Once enabled, it’ll pop up an “Ask for me” button under certain searches, promising to call local shops for you to help you figure out availability, service costs, and the like.”
Quotes I’m pondering —
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.
– Yogi Berra
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David Preston
Educator & Author
Latest book: ACADEMY OF ONE
Header image: “An Exact and Authentic Narrative” via Public Domain Review