When my grandfather died he left me an oil painting of my great great great great grandfather, who lived in Ohio around the time of the Civil War. Even though I never met Samuel Decatur, his stern face is etched in my memory. My grandfather called him “Old Ironsides.” My family just calls him “No.”
I’m never going to meet my great great great great grandchildren. And there will be no portrait of me hanging around (that I know of). But they may have a sense of me. Maybe they’ll meet me in the stories they hear. Or maybe their grandmother will notice something in their facial expressions or habits that will cause her to say, “oh my goodness, you look just like…” Maybe I won’t ever be mentioned by name, but someone will say “thank you” or do a kindness because that’s what they learned from someone who learned it from someone else who learned it from me.
This is on my mind because I spent Día de los Muertos remembering people. That’s not unique — I remember people all the time — but as I reflected on the people I’ve loved, what comes up most vividly is the way they treated others, and the way they made decisions.
I learned early to make decisions for the future. Some are obvious. Flossing. Saving money. Think about it: you never, ever meet an old person who says, “taking care of my teeth was a total waste of time” or “I’m bummed I have money.”
In high school I figured out a model for making decisions. I called it the left hand turn principle. An idea may feel good, the moment may feel good, but what are the odds I’m going to be successful (or at least unscathed)? How will I feel about it tomorrow?
Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if I took more risks, or more drugs, or had more interactions with questionable people under questionable circumstances. Then again, I’ve always enjoyed the security of knowing that I will never get in a fight outside a bar at 1:30a, because I will never be outside a bar at 1:30a. Reducing risk to statistical zero is power.
I remember standing in front of the Jokhang with my friend Tsering, a former Buddhist monk who was imprisoned for nine years for visiting the Dalai Lama. As we looked up at the Dharma wheel from Barkhor Square, I asked Tsering whether he believed that all time happens at once, or if there is a sequence outside our awareness that defines past, present, and future. Tsering looked at me and said, “What, right now?”
That’s just it. Everything we do is in this moment. And that’s how we define the future. I can’t think of a better way to remember the dead and serve future generations than to live our values, continue worthy traditions, and model the best elements of our nature.
I’d like to know: Who will remember you, and for what? Drop me a line and tell me about it. I’m curious.
Curiosity is worth practicing. That’s how we get better at it. When it’s done particularly well, curiosity can be elevated to an art form. Curiosity makes life worth living. I am literally Curious AF. And now you can be too! Click HERE to unlock your free membership subscription.
Here is a taste of what I’m reading, watching, and thinking about.
What You Can Count On –
According to Scientific American, Voting Has Never Been More Secure Than It Is Right Now: “Those casting ballots by mail or machine in this year’s presidential election can, in fact, be more confident than ever that their votes will be tallied accurately.”
Also according to Scientific American, Election Polling Has Become Less Reliable: “For decades, pollsters have been dealing with an “ongoing crisis” of falling response rates, Karpf says. Polls are only as good as their sample: the wider, more representative swath of the public that responds to polling calls, the better the data. The ubiquity of the landline telephone in the latter half of the 20th century was a unique gift to pollsters, who could rely on around 60 percent response rates from randomly dialed phone numbers to hear from a representative slice of the population, Bailey explains.
“Today technological changes—including caller ID, the rise of texting and the proliferation of spam messages—have led very few people to pick up the phone or answer unprompted text messages. Even the well-respected New York Times/Siena College poll gets around a 1 percent response rate, Bailey points out. In many ways, people who respond to polls are the odd ones out, and this self-selection can significantly bias the results in unknowable but profound ways.”
What I’ll Be Listening to Forever –
Quincy Jones had a massive impact on music and culture. He was beloved to many for many wonderful reasons, and I loved him because of his approach to collaboration. The man was pure Open-Source Learning. Consider his thoughts on contribution: “Imagine what a harmonious world it could be if every single person, both young and old, shared a little of what they are good at doing.” R.I.P., Quincy.
From Smithsonian Magazine: “The cultural influence and importance of Quincy Delight Jones Jr. cannot be overstated. As one of the most significant artists in any discipline of the last century, Jones, who died Sunday at 91, had been involved in American culture for more than seven decades, as a musician, music producer, film and television producer, and activist.
He produced Michael Jackson’s albums Off the Wall, Thriller and Bad, giving the world the songs and sounds that would go on to shape music history. He also produced and composed music for The Wiz and “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” a show he also served as an executive producer on. His fingerprints are on so much pop culture. The list of luminaries he collaborated with is long and legendary: Jackson, Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra, Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross and many, many more. Later this month, Jones was set to receive an honorary Academy Award for his contributions to film.”
Priorities –
How much do I love my wife? I missed the last game of the World Series because I was celebrating her birthday. I took her out to dinner and we rocked out on the Singtrix karaoke machine I gave her as a gift. First song? Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful.” Was there smooching afterward, you ask? Did the Dodgers beat the Yankees?
Quotes I’m pondering —
You cannot get an A if you’re afraid of getting an F.
– Quincy Jones
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Best,
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David Preston
Educator & Author
Latest book: ACADEMY OF ONE
Header image: Dia de los muertos photo by Sharon Mollerus via Flickr and Creative Commons
Collect this post as an NFT.
