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A New Year, Not A New Me - Issue 53

I've known my why for sometime, maybe not my way though

I want to write about why I blog and expand on some of the ideas from last weeks Blog (A Year Of Blogs - Issue 52). And I will. I want to talk about what I have learnt about myself, and what I have learnt about writing. Before I get to any of that, and I am unsure if I have dedicated issues or something else, I want to chat about a few other things. Things about me, and by proxy I guess you too!

A pre wedding selfie in Brighton, with a pretty skyline and the old pier in the background. The wedding was fun and I scrub up OK.

Something has happened since FCancer. Not an epiphany as such, more clarity of thought. Maybe it's a year of blogging. Maybe it's this space. It could be resolving something in my personal life. It could be an unknown amount of other things that I am not considering, or even able to consider. I have been a bit punchier with my messaging and I hope this continues. It is important to me that I am not misrepresented and I wonder if some of my communication is a little too ambiguous. Like that last sentence!

I know what I want to deliver. I know there are key people that have a very similar belief and want to support. I know what I need to do to add more certainty and revenue streams to certain things in the background. I know I need to do this in a way that aligns with my ethics, morals and values. I know a lot more about what will happen. I know some of the delays have been my personal circumstances. Some have been due to unkept promises. But some of them have been paralysis...

Paralysis by analysis. Paralysis by how big the big idea actually is. Paralysis by the buy in and achievements that have already been happened. But mainly, paralysis because of me. Some of my mental weaknesses have impacted decision making in my personal life. This has rolled on. Have I let anyone down, it's difficult to judge. My heart says yes, my brain says no, I have offered far more than I have been willing to take, even in the moments I haven't delivered or because I have been unable to pay the people helping me. And above all, I aim to be accountable with it.

I did a lone walk of the South West Coast Path a couple of years ago. About 20 miles in a day. This was one of the pictures I got. Whilst it was foggy, or misty, the feeling of vastness from the ocean was more intense.

I have shared enough about my year to date, some of the emotions that my experiences have caused and it explains some of why things have been moving sideways instead of forward for me. What I haven't done is share my thoughts so much on the state of the space and how that has impacted me.

One of the things that I have more clarity of thought over is how I want to present myself and observing this space for the last 6 months has confirmed that, even if the clarity of thought has presented itself now. The Crypto and NFT space is making genuine people fell like crap, and it has been for a while. There are so many reasons and I do not want to get bogged down in them. You know many of them, if not all of them.

A lot of them tie into the supporting you bracket. It's often a misnomer, I don't want to say outright lie, most probably mean good, or think what they are saying is good. For whatever reason. It's now part of the spiel, part of the script. Something that has to be said by a founder, like I am here for the long-term (What's your 3 year plan then, 5 year, 10 year? What market analysis are you using to forecast? Questions we should ask more often). People thinking and building sustainably have no reason to say things like that. And that's only one example.

I picture from the same walk later in the day, as the weather cleared up. The scenery in the UK is absolutely stunning.

I know there are things I would have liked to have delivered that I haven't, for one reason or another and I never want them to be excuses. I don't want to cast blame externally. But the one thing I have never done is put barriers to entry on platforms I have curated and built. There will be a time for paid services and hopefully a subscription plan at Polygon Alliance, but the services already offered don't get withdrawn, or hidden behind any barrier other than English and internet access.

The barriers to entry go against my core beliefs on what this space can be. Come change the world with me, after you have paid 100's of dollars to do it... We are building a home for artists, but if you want to play you just need to give us 10-25% of everything, forever. Including rights. This isn't different to anything these same people say they are 'trying' to change. I know a place that charges 10-50% of any potential income for visibility.

The traditional industries. The agents. The galleries. The curators. The middlemen. How these people can act that way and still convince others that they here to change the traditional blah, blah, blah is baffling to me. Absolutely baffling. And the more we subscribe and play along, the more it happens. There are many ways this industry is immature, but the way the general consumers already in Crypto & NFT's keep falling for this is one of them. As purchasers/users (investors if you believe it) we need to be better.

I miss these two massive idiots. Keisa & Loki may be idiots but they are ridiculously lovable!

And the first way we can do that is stop pandering to the institutions that support it. We should be asking questions and we should be looking to use the places and tools that align with our ethics, morals, values and vision. I think Polygon the Blockchain still aligns with those things for me, but do the team? I am not certain anymore. And I think we have every right to question that based on how they present themselves. Not everyone will agree, that's OK, I don't expect you too. My values aren't yours.

This then moves from chain, or token, depending on where you place yourself in the market for the applications you use. We all shout about OpenSea but we all still use it, myself included. I have accepted who they are, what they deliver, how they do it and that they wont change. I will still ask questions of other marketplaces and when I stop it will mean I don't care enough to question or believe they will change.

I am not sure if blockchains or marketplaces fully realise the implications of allowing potential wash trading, insider trading and maybe even money laundering on their platforms. Especially of it ends up being tracible via all of the immutable transactions stored on the blockchain. The fines that companies receive for breaching those things are insane, could they close down a marketplace, or even a chain? Maybe not if it was decentralised, but that is only a very few blockchains or platforms. And would validators be at risk? Questions we don't know the answers too yet.

All of these factors and more have made me want to be much more vocal than I have been about how we can choose to use this technology and build. That it can mean more people than ever have the opportunity to own their own things. And I am passionate about this. I think it it allows for genuine equality of opportunity, if we want it to. If we are willing to stand up and be counted.

This view, even when it is cloudy and grey, is magnificent. I am still aiming to find a flat close by, so I can enjoy my coffee breaks with this backdrop again.

Right now, this space is just a new shiny version of the world I dislike. The one where fees are everywhere, where people disagree because of the chain or protocol, where money comes first. The one where competition to the point of destruction is actively encouraged (by a multitude of factors), especially in the mega corporate world. At least that's how it appears.

I get that this is a financial space and that the leaders push and promote that. It helps them in the competition for visibility, especially in a shrinking market. If macro conditions continue and interest rates and inflation stay high (both very possible) then there is no disposable income for Crypto & NFT's. I still think it can be both.

The thing is, especially for the underdog (a lot of people I know) or the people wanting to do things the right way, it's almost impossible to do it alone. The resources aren't there and it's really hard to retain active interest when there is so little tangible outcomes to offer. I will get there, and I am certain the people that have supported along the way will appreciate it!

I wanted to chat about writing and FCancer. The best laid plans and all that! I enjoyed writing this, I am not sure where it is a ramble/vent and where it is offering genuine insight. I think it's a lot of both. It felt good to get some of this written. There are positives and I am looking forward to persueing them.

I am not sure how long next week's blog will be, I have a week off. Hopefully I will be able to share some of my experiences from the first day of The Open Golf. But that will depend on how much time I get Friday morning. Thank you for reading and supporting. I will cathc you next Friday, however briefly.

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