I really enjoyed using Revue and want to start by saying thank you to them. The way it integrated with Twitter made it an easy resource for me to use. Writing on these new platforms, Blockster and Paragraph, is going to be a new experience and maybe I play with my style a little bit, maybe I don't. The way the functionality works does encourage you to play! This isn't the only reason I want to talk about change today but it is one of the reasons.
When I look back on any period of my life it has been full of change. The one period you could argue wasn't full of change was after my ex-partner and I had purchased our house. We had worked so hard for so long for that change and after we had realised our goal, there was a period of no real ambition from me. That lack of ambition was possibly one of the reasons our relationship started to breakdown. So you could argue that the period of 3 or 4 years without much change led to one of the biggest periods of change in my life!
For those of you that have read my story you know that change led almost straight into Covid. Just a little change required there by the whole world! Mid Covid, I decided to up sticks and move half way across the country, because why not. Start a new career, because why not. And then I found NFT's. Now we all know this is an industry that can change by the hour and often changes by the day. Those changes can be anything from utility, to art trends to Twitter tactics as well as almost anything else you can think of.
Why do I want to talk about change this week? Well I have been given notice to leave my flat (apartment). To explain. I rent it and it was recently purchased under auction. The new owners have decided they want to move their staff in and because of that, I have been served a non fault eviction notice. I cannot change it and I have options, including staying with family if needed. It is a pretty drastic change at fairly short notice and it is something that is top of my priority list.
Change used to inhibit me, I would get stuck in what would be different, what I would have to 'sacrifice' and what others would think, just to start. And whilst change can be scary it is also something I am much better at facing head on now. I still have to force myself to face it and I have improvements I can make but I am not scared of change anymore, even when change is scary! More than scary, I now realise change is exciting and brings opportunity. Change doesn't have to be negative and we often choose whether it is negative or positive.
I think the huge change that I went through, that ended with the sale of the house just enabled much more positive growth to come from future change. The mindset I built for myself from early 2019 based on the core principles of caring for myself, smiling, positive affirmations and doing one thing for someone else daily without expecting anything in return enabled me to cope with change. And more importantly it taught me how incredibly powerful being in the moment can be.
We only ever get this moment once. We should enjoy it and do everything we can to maximise it as much as possible. There are numerous ways to say it but essentially be in your now. It is the art of acceptance if you like. The ability to know that you can't change the past and whilst you can influence the future you never fully know what tomorrow will bring. One of the only things you can truly be in control of is how you feel now. Check my Tweet below, Master Oogway says it best!
I believe that when you have learned acceptance, when you can comfortably say it is what it is and move forward, that is when you can cope with change. And just because someone can manage change, it does not make that change easy. Habits are easily built and hard to break. It takes effort, perseverance and time to drive focused change in your life. Unexpected change is often emotional. Both of these types of change will require admitting to flaws and self analysis.
Admitting to flaws is not easy for us to do. We have often built safety nets around ourselves. We may only do something we know about, we may only talk in scenarios that don't challenge us, we may never try a new meal when we go out to a restaurant. Essentially humans are obstinate and stubborn (trust me I know!) and proud, insanely proud. It can be very difficult to admit to ones flaws. Flaws aside, maybe that aspect of growth and mindset can be for another time. What did I do to learn to accept things in a way that was better for my mental health?
It came down to a list of 7 things I did daily that wrapped the 4 core principles I mentioned earlier - caring for myself, smiling, positive affirmations and doing one thing for someone else daily without expecting anything. I have mentioned it before, here's the list and I will touch on these principles below.
Caring for myself involves exercising, eating well (need to be better at this, I have let this one slip) and showering. My partner of nearly 12 years had just left (amongst other things), it was a marvel I got out of bed for a long time, hence the need to have shower on my list. These 3 things help in a lot of ways. They give me structure to my day, they make me plan and organise and they help me feel good about myself physically and mentally.
Smiling and positive affirmations work together. I have been saying recently that mindset matters and I say this because I know the impact a positive mindset has on me. Smiling makes me feel good, it just does. A genuine smile will make you feel good too. My positive affirmations are as simple as my responses when asked how I am. I used to say OK, not to bad, could be better. Now I say I am well, fantastic, having an amazing day etc. Positivity spreads positivity and smiles are contagious.
Doing one thing for someone else daily without any expectation of anything in return. This could be anything from paying someone a compliment to helping someone with a favour. I don't believe that this is altruistic, I also don't believe that is a bad thing. Doing this will give you a sense of satisfaction and wellbeing but it will also lift or help someone else. At least 2 people feeling better can never be a bad thing.
To highlight how much change is around us I have used pictures of the low tide (above) and high tide (below) of The River Torridge, the tidal river that runs past my house. Change is part of nature, not only does it happen daily via tides, day to night or weather it is something that happens in the turning of the seasons. From Winter to Summer we undergo massive change, depending where you live in the world. It makes sense that we are resilient to change, even if we push against it for so long before accepting it.
Personally I know I have a lot of things to work on and not just in regards to change. Building a mentality that is much more accepting to change has helped me manage other areas of my life better including my pain. I still let myself feel the emotions I need to, including anger, frustration, hurt, pain and other 'negative' emotions. But I don't let the emotions hold me in the past any more. Feel and express the emotions and then move forward. It is all we can do.
For the longest time people who knew me would not have called me a positive person. I have come an incredibly long way in a very short period of time and I believe most of it was down to my mindset changing. I find the silver lining a lot quicker and I don't wallow. I am productive with the emotions we associate with negativity. These phrases mean a lot to me. Believe In You. Mindset Matters. Positivity Breeds Positivity. My final note on this, you can brighten any day with a smile.
You know how I said we only ever get this moment once, well thank you very much for choosing to spend it with me. I appreciate it and means a lot that so many of you interact with my blog. I have drafted the next document and am looking for the right picture for my limerick to celebrate 300 blog subscribers!
Enjoy your week, I ended up not playing with my usual format, maybe next week. You will have to wait and see! Until then, take care.