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My Web3 Journey Continued, it's Always a Ride - Issue 4

Originally released 05th August 2022

Again, no question today, and no opinion. Not to open at least. I am going to continue to explain my journey in the world of Web3, Crypto and NFT’s. Last time we got to the end of November. Today I go through December to March. My Web3 journey has been the most enjoyable journey of my life. And one that has barely begun.

December was interesting. The Polygon community kept growing, ridiculously fast. All from the Spaces Beluga and I hosted. I want to say thank you to the co-hosts we had, the speakers that let us into their lives and the people that listened. To artists, builders and creators that talked about them, their ambitions and goals, their drivers and motivators and their artwork and visions. It is you that have made us what we are today. There have been many challenges but looking back, we have created a community that cares about each other and is there for people when they need it. We have done incredible things together and we have much more to come.

The hardest NFT thing for me in December, was finding the pieces at CryptoGoonz, getting our Zombz drop out among the chaos and putting them back together following the collapse of our team, whilst trying to manage the success of the larger community. It was a month of highs and lows. Wrapped into all of this, my Mum’s was in pain again and awaiting more cancer results. Mum knew, even if the Doctors weren’t certain yet. And Polygon Alliance was officially formed on 28th December. A back end for the Spaces and Community Beluga, myself and so many others have built.

It’s December so a selfie of me in a Christmas Jumper is a requirement!

January and a new year with the old insecurities. The pressure I put on me meant that I was feeling stagnant, for me, Goonz and the community. Our Spaces and Twitters were growing but there felt like there was an expectation from the community for us to organise and provide services and tools. And we weren’t in a position to do this. Add in Mum’s cancer returning and being confirmed by Doctor’s as terminal, with a 6 month time frame, and my Twitter feed became erratic and emotional at times.

My ability to think clearly and long term was impacted much more than I realised, and my achievements in January were still huge. We then had some real excitement at Cartridge Punkz, we had onboarded a dev that could make our vision a reality, having our own game and driving the video gaming community we want to build.

February and we had Goonz next drop, I had hit 10K Twitter followers, we had more defined support at Polygon Alliance and I was beginning to feel more confident wrapping the values I embrace into our community. Care, Compassion, Consideration, Empathy, Kindness, Love and Trust. I was also more confident in expressing my emotions. My Twitter is my platform and if I can use it to express how I truly feel, then maybe I can encourage others to do the same.

DeadGoonz by CryptoGoonz banner art

I want to take this time to thank you for encouraging me to continue to be emotionally open, and allowing you to come on a different type of journey. Not a toxic WAGMI journey where everything is rainbows and unicorns, but one where it is acceptable to feel, to express, to be the real me - to myself as much as to anyone else. The Web3 space promotes this more than any other space, I am accepted for me. And you regularly show me this, validating my feelings. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t share in the way I do. So again, Thank You.

We were seeing huge growth within our community. Individuals stepping up and taking leadership roles. Becoming anchors for others, offering knowledge, support, friendship and relationships that were building into teams. These people are the people that we see day in, day out. Working to make a better future for them and those around them. I have nothing but time and respect for people that are willing to lift others, that are willing to support without insisting on anything back, that are good, wholesome, happy people with ambitions and dreams to be the change.

This rolled into March. The growth continued even as Crypto started to shrink and some monumental worldwide events started to have a dramatic impact on people. We work within a global community and the War in Ukraine had a huge impact on people. Some people were directly impacted by the conflict in Ukraine. Others were emotionally impacted for a variety of reasons due to the horrific nature of what we were seeing and hearing. And the impacts are still being felt today, the War is still happening.

Polygon Alliance and our community held an impromptu Auction for the People of Ukraine. Where all funds were donated to Ukraine DAO. We set this up in a week, had a huge amount of artists take part, and ran two week-long auctions that raised $1400 for Ukraine DAO. MetaMike built the Spatial gallery we used, you should check his Twitter account and look at his Spatial page as well. He did an incredible job and our entire community is very thankful for his support - https: metx_mike.

AstroGoonz by CryptoGoonz banner art

Goonz had an Astroz drop planned in March, Beluga and I had massive plans for the community growth and then the inevitable happened. Mum had deteriorated much faster than expected in Feb and March. I saw her early in March and she knew her time was short, even if Doctors were saying otherwise. This is hard to write, and I will write a more detailed blog about Mum and how it impacted me at some point. She knew she was saying goodbye. On the 19th March she started to show signs of requiring end of life care. Much more pain, swelling, looking different, drugged up to manage the pain that she had minutes of lucidity at a time. Calls and conversations were hard.

I was planning to get up and see Mum, as I knew it was getting bad but my car was in for urgent repairs. The car could have been dangerous under heavy braking. The garage was taking longer than expected. This was Monday 22nd March. I was a mess, I wanted to be with my family and was trapped 250 miles away. I felt powerless to do anything. I got a call from the garage on Tuesday 23rd saying that my car likely wouldn’t be ready until the close of business. Then my Step Dad called to say Mum was being taken to the Hospice. This was needed to manage her end of life care. 2 hours later, just before Noon, the call came to say that Mum had passed at home, before she made it to the Hospice, and I was still trapped 250 miles away, powerless and alone. Lost and adrift. I had to wait a further 6 hours for my car. Then came the hardest drive I have ever made. I had to stop several times for tears. It’s hard to drive when you can’t see the road, almost every song made me cry. The silence was worse.

A poem I wrote about Mum in the days after she passed

I stopped NFT'ing as such, but was visible on Twitter daily, I let you into my emotional journey if you wanted to be part of it. I expressed. I wrote and shared poetry for the first time. I told people via Twitter that I was hurting and that I was lost. I was lifted again, by the most amazing community. And I will be forever grateful. Words can’t do my feelings justice, but know that if you reached out to me, you had an impact and your message was read and felt. I need to say a special thank you to VDK Music, she is the one that insisted I continued to share my emotions and let you all in on this journey. This isn’t the reason I have found a friend for life in VDK, but it certainly helps. Please check her Twitter out and see some of the amazing things she is doing in our community - https: Vdk_Music.

Left to Right, Me, Mum, Step Dad. Wear it pink day for breast cancer 2021

The tears have dried again for now, this was a tough one to write and I barely scratched the surface of my feelings in regards to Mum and everything else. If you have taken a moment to read some of my poetry or check links then thank you greatly. It means a lot to me, and to the people I have included. As emotional as this one has been, it has also been a pleasure to write and share. As ever, thank you all for your time, until next week.