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Our Expectations Of Ourselves - Issue 59

And a little bit abut X/Twitter and Schemes

I know I have spoken about managing expectations before, but that won't stop me chatting about it again! I think one thing that often gets overlooked when this topic is talked about is our expectations of ourselves. X, Twitter, The EVERYTHING App, whatever we are calling it, it is pertinent and I have a lot of learns. I also still have a lot to learn. And if I have room/time, I want to continue from last week and briefly chat ponzi's & pyramid schemes.

Bideford. I am looking to rent a flat, the property market is still tough in the UK, as it is in many places.

Managing our expectations is something that we all have to learn. We can be told, we can have techniques shown to us, but it is managing our own heads at the end of the day. That is a rather unique experience that no one else shares, even if there will be similarities. For large chunks of my life I did not understand what were my expectations and what was me placing external expectations on myself.

I am much better at this now and there are many reasons for that. Accepting who I am, understanding my flaws, as well as my attributes, has allowed me to understand what I am capable of, and when I am capable of it. And my journey with physical pain has had a huge say in what I can do over the last decade. Learning to accept my pain (and that it is a daily thing) has been a huge part of this journey of me managing my expectations better.

Pain is also one of the reasons this blog is late. It's been a tough week in terms of higher levels of pain. Not only does this impact me in the moment, it eats my energy. It means I need to sleep more, everything is more effort, I feel far less rewarded by the results from effort put in and frustration is real. I accept this and am aware that these bouts can come at any time.

The point of talking about pain is because it is uncontrollable. When it comes to managing our own expectations of ourselves, it is very easy to not consider external factors. External factors that can impact us and the amount of control we have in any given moment. Whilst we can choose how we feel about something (most of the time), external things can have a massive impact on our time, energy or money. This can then impact what we want to achieve.

Going back to pain, and what is essentially an invisible illness. Other people expect me to be a fit and healthy person. That's how I look, even if you saw the skin blemishes they look odd, sometimes painful, but not crippling (I can tell you the pain has been at those levels in the past). The pain is normally worse as they look better strangely enough. I spent a long time placing those expectations of being a healthy person on myself. From work, my ex and sometimes family and friends.

When I can't go to a social event that I am committed to I feel like I am letting people down, even if they understand. The want to work and be effective at work, knowing that the best you can do is about 60% of your maximum. Knowing that questions about your performance are being asked. Luckily, this is not my current situation, for a number of reasons. Primarily understanding what expectations were real, and mine. And accepting some of the above. Both of these things took time.

A selfie and a glorious beard, what more could anyone ask for!

It took momentous and life altering events, that I wouldn't wish on anyone, to help me learn what were my expectations, what were external, what external expectations I had an obligation to and how to react to any external expectations in a positive manner for me. I am grateful that I have come out the other side of those events as a stronger and more rounded person. Certainly from an emotional level. I am not sure I have many insights other than giving yourself room.

Give yourself room to move, to have an off day or longer. This is thee biggest input and advice I can offer. If you expect 100% from yourself all of the time, what happens when you can't give 100%? For me, I started feeling like a failure. A failure of a person, not even someone failing at their own goals. Then I started living like that. It is not a place I wish to go back to. I give myself room and on top of that I don't judge myself when I am not physically capable anymore.

I can tell anyone how to accept themselves and how to love themselves. It all sounds rubbish unless you have been there, done it and got the t-shirt. It used to sound dreadful to me, you choose how you feel. Really? The truth of it is, you really do choose how you feel. External influences are just that, external influences. These things take time, effort, determination and more. You are breaking habits that have built over a long time. You are breaking your mould.

Expectations wrap into X (or Twitter). Many people have been using that platform for some time, including myself. It doesn't work how it used to. If you expect it to work how it worked 6 months ago then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You will attack the platform, expect certain results and then not see them. This leads to questioning of all sorts. And the facts could be, you are doing nothing wrong from a marketing perspective, you just haven't curated your audience.

X, or Twitter, is much more that than it has ever been. It truly is representative of who you connect with and how. The reply metric is incredibly strong at the moment and it makes sense. The platform is a text based platform that wants engaging content. Is there a better measure of this than a reply? Something that sparks conversation is everything. I have shared a Post/Tweet above that will offer some insight into how I am working with the platform (and the one below is a bit of rant with what I feel are some pertinent points).

I think the platform can still be something good. I know the changes haven't even truly begun and I have set my expectations that there will be a lot more change happening. I am choosing to be excited rather than negative. That I will use the changes to learn and meet new people, rather than stick to my old ways. The platform is still people and patterns. People still want people even if they act otherwise. The game has just reset but we still have all our knowledge!

It feels like Crypto, NFT's, Web3 has done the same. It feels like we have reset and are going through the same old... just a new day. $PEPE was inevitable wasn't it? I know I called in May, but who am I to fight against the hype, the ponzi's and the pyramids. I know the answer to that and I am comfortable with it. I don't expect to win, certainly not by myself or soon, but I will keep fighting. I think this tech is worth too much to too many to give it up.

Ponzi's and Pyramid Schemes are everywhere, not only in crypto and NFT's. Some of the worlds biggest financial players have been involved and are still going despite the insane fraud they have committed. It is almost like human nature is wired into believing the things that are too good to be true. What is the difference between a Ponzi and a Pyramid?

  • A Ponzi Scheme is a fraudulent investing scam which generates returns for earlier investors with money taken from later investors.

  • A Pyramid Scheme is a form of investment in which each paying participant recruits two (or more) further participants, with returns being given to early participants using money contributed by later ones.

The red flags are the usual's. Lots of hype, unrealistic returns, an unwillingness to answer questions, more hype, generational wealth being created, unregistered companies (with SEC etc.), complex strategies, emphasis on recruiting, complex commission structure, no demonstrated revenue etc.

In Web3, you have to do the due diligence, others won't do it for you and it is always not your keys, not your coins.

Colin, from The Squibbles, is on his way to the UK, to spend some time with me. I genuinely can't wait! This picture was taken while Colin was with Vans.

Expectation management is one of those subjects that is hard to write about in a way that I want to. I want to share experiences without coming across like I am telling anyone what to do. For me, these things are always a work in progress and anyone that tells you different is likely lying to themselves and you.

Thank you for bearing with me, your patience and understanding makes it easier to manage the delays that are sometimes inevitable, no matter how hard I want things to be otherwise. I hope you have an awesome week, and all being well, I will be back with more thoughts on Friday.

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