This One is for Mum

I have decided to write something and I am not sure what it will be. I will share some of the poetry I wrote last year as well. Writing that poetry was a release. There have been plenty of tears today, but far more memories that have made me smile. One thing I know unequivocally is that Mum would be proud of all of us. My stepdad, my sisters and me.

Dave Swinbank

@Davc_s

A year ago today…

Our family lost it’s glue, our rock, the anchor for us all. Mum lost her lengthy battle with breast cancer

I miss her so much, and I am not alone. She was inspirational to so many people she met, because she cared about them. She was incredibly…

It's a different format to usual and I think it needed to be. The only thing I want to briefly mention is that I have started to add my previous blogs to Paragraph. You can find my first 3 issues on my profile page. More will be added until I am completely caught up.

Mum passed away on 23rd March 2022 and I wasn't able to be there due to a couple of reasons. I am glad of this, but also wish I was able to support my youngest sister and stepdad in arguably their greatest time of need. One side of this is that I never saw mum looking at her worst, and cancer doesn't have a pretty ending. And I don't feel guilty about not being there at that specific moment, I arrived very late that evening, it's just that I would have liked things to be different.

Somethings we have done, my sister in New Zealand has gained citizenship and changed her job, because it's a lot easier to do that out there once you have citizenship. And she has found a new partner who I am hopefully meeting in June. Another sister has restarted her life following a break up just before mum passed by moving to Northern Ireland and chasing her dreams. She has land for her doggo's out there.

This is one of the many things my stepdad has done in the last year. And something he should be proud of, a life long goal achieved.

My youngest sister has travelled and had the 21st birthday she told mum she would have, enjoying it on cruise ship. She passed her 2nd year of Uni and is about to complete her final year, all being well. My stepdad has done more than he would have ever thought possible. He has bought a house, passed his motorbike licence (and bought a new Harley), visited Namibia, Florida and went on the afore mentioned cruise.

I have started to adult properly again, it's been some time. I got myself a job (which I enjoy) to protect my savings and because Crypto and NFT's are too exciting to be self employed. And then there is all the web3 stuff. There is a lot. I mention it regularly. I know the things that would make Mum the proudest is that I am not willing to compromise my values of wanting to lift everyone up and the good that I achieve for those around me and myself.

Wear it pink 2021. Mum has always supported charitable causes. And who doesn't want a picture of me with a pink beard.

And now to some poetry. I have decided to just share some simple images of the text, with an explanation in the caption. I think that captures the emotion I felt at the time in the best way. For me. And I wrote these for me.

Reading this made me emotional and took me back to the days just after Mum passed away. Which was when I wrote this. I feel good about sharing this and it emphasises everything I have written above. I know Mum was proud of us and still would be if things were different. I am glad I wrote to express and feel my emotions. It taught me a lot about myself, more than I ever thought it would at the time.

Dave Swinbank

@Davc_s

I thought of a way to start to show my gratitude

For anyone who sent me a message, liked or RT’d a Tweet, spent a moment in thought or reflection for me or my mum and for anyone who loves

This One is for You

I think the reasons why I wrote the above are clear and don't need any explanation. I still feel very strongly about this and the gratitude I feel for the people that supported me in my time of need will last forever.

I know this was a birthday for mum, I can't remember which one. This is a picture one of my sisters shared and I feel it captures Mum's spirit perfectly.

I wrote this after we had set up the venue for mum's wake. We had more time than we thought and I was sitting there feeling more than a little lost. I had no idea what to do, what to think and how to act. So I zoned out, opened my phone and wrote the above. It helped me get through an incredibly tough day. And then the community I have been integral in building sent flowers to the wake. Another thing that meant a huge amount and something I will forever be grateful for.

Dave Swinbank

@Davc_s

Yesterday was tough, really tough, but good. Cathartic & fun. I know it has helped. Mum’s playlist really didn’t help

She would have been extremely happy with how it all went down, especially the dude chucking up at the end

And the flowers from you

This picture was taken a couple of weeks before Mum passed away, we had a really nice couple of days, ate some great food and helped mum tick of some of her to do list. On reflection I think she knew her time was much more limited than any of us were told.

Thank you if you read my poetry. These poems are incredibly personal and brought out some heavy emotions. Not only when I wrote them, but re-reading them as part of this process too. I am happy I wrote them and proud of how I expressed my emotions. I know it helped me.

2023 has been quite a year, hard in a lot of places and it isn't over yet. Once I have got a new flat sorted, helped my stepdad move and sorted out a couple of other things. I am looking forward to be able to manage my time better and be more productive in the web3 world. Have a wonderful weekend, thank you for your time and I will catch you next Friday!

This One is for Mum - Issue 37

Dave Swinbank - a blog about me, web3, my insights, opinions and thoughts.

This One is for Mum - Issue 37

This One is for Mum - Issue 37

In homage to an incredible and inspiring woman