The first time I went to church was probably at a construction site
I was a laborer
The minister had a face that looked like the gnarled bark of a very old tree
He was the lead carpenter and I don’t think he liked me very much
Understandable: I barely knew how to hold a hammer
The eucharist was a horribly dry peanut butter and jam sandwich
Blood of Christ, jellied for you
The cathedral was a cold and wet, freshly framed bunkie on the side of a cliff
The incense was a mason’s soggy, wilted cigarette
My nose was cold and the secondhand smoke stung my lungs
The frigid drizzle turned to a downpour as we finished the sacraments in silence
“Goddammit” said the minister
The sermon
The parish was located on an island and the building-in-progress still had no ceiling. So we closed the service and headed home.
The driving rain felt like stinging nettles on our faces as we sped home in a roofless, tin boat
The next service I attended was in the bowels of an oil refinery
We were shoring up the ceiling to replace a rotting steel lintel
The call to worship was a bout of laughter from the foreman
The millwright had told a dirty joke
We had an altar call when the new, thousand pound lintel nearly slipped off the forklift and onto our heads
All attendants swore loyalty to Christ that day
Another service was in the streets of Tokyo at 2am with some friends. Our plane had just landed and it was dark and cold and rainy and we were waiting for a ride and a place to sleep
We sang together to pass the time
Most recently I attended mass in the taproom of a local brewery with a friend
We drank beer in the middle of the day and laughed about being sent to hell
Confession
I met God when putting my 5 year old daughter to bed and we giggled at Grover from Sesame Street trying to sing about the hole at the bottom of the sea
And I saw the person of Christ when Jonathan Van Ness taught strangers the delicate art of loving themselves on Queer Eye
“In the world and not of it”
is what was said
So we formed an organization
Where we met and broke bread
For a time, there was life
In the things that were said
But an institution needs cashflow
Treasurers
And salaries
A board of elders
Who must at all costs
Be kept happy
Is this really what he meant?
