I usually only write about web3, but this PayPal Update is just insane. Paypal, yawa, what is not happening, what have we as Africans done, to be returned to the stone age of harsh payments and even if you want help, the pal is in small and the PAY in caps.

Ah, Africa. Land of innovation, resilience, and... high transaction fees!

PayPal has been studying the continent for years, carefully analyzing the needs of freelancers, entrepreneurs, and e-commerce hustlers. And after all this research, they’ve finally concluded:

"You know what? Let’s make it worse."

Starting April 21, 2025, PayPal will begin its new philanthropic initiative: The Great African Wallet Drain.

Here’s how PayPal sees Africa:

1. "International Transactions? We Heard You Like Taxes!"
You worked hard for that $100 gig? Well, congratulations—PayPal is here to collect their 4.90% cut plus a little "fixed fee" surprise. What is the fixed fee? That’s for PayPal to know and for you to cry about later.

2. "Minimum Withdrawal Fees? Let’s Make Small Money Smaller!"
Withdrawing less than KES 20,000? No problem, just hand over KES 105 first. That’s right, we’ve entered the era of "Microtransactions for Your Own Money." More like micro-aggressions.

3. "U.S. Bank Withdrawals? You Thought It Was Free? Hahahaha."
Before: "Free withdrawals to U.S. banks!"
Now: "Wait, Africa has access to that? Charge them 3% IMMEDIATELY!"

PayPal execs are probably in a boardroom right now, patting themselves on the back:
"We noticed you were withdrawing money. Would be a shame if... we charged you for it."

4. "Dispute Fees—Even When You Win!"
Oh, you fought and won your dispute? That’s adorable. Here’s an $8 penalty for wasting our time. If you’re dealing with multiple disputes, congratulations, you just unlocked "Premium Suffering" at $16 per case.

PayPal is now officially the only place where you can win and still lose.

5. "M-Pesa & Local Banks? Yeah, We’re Taxing That Too!"
Using a third-party withdrawal service? Nice try. That’s now a whole new category of fees. We call it:

"Why are you running? PAY that pal of yours, you must pay!"

What PayPal Actually Thinks About Africa:

Africans: "We need affordable payment solutions to thrive in global business."
PayPal: "That’s crazy. Anyway, here’s 12 new fees."

Africans: "But we bring billions into your platform!"
PayPal: "A mosquito buzzing in our ears. Annoying. Must swat."

Africans: "Fine. We’ll find alternatives."
PayPal: "Wait, wait, wait—where are you going? Don’t leave. We were just joking. Haha. Okay, but seriously, 7% fee if you close your account."

The Solution?

Freelancers, businesses, and anyone with a Wi-Fi connection: Pack your bags and leave. Crypto? Wise? Other fintech solutions? They’re waiting for you with open arms and far fewer fees.

Meanwhile, PayPal will be left wondering why their African transactions are drying up, completely oblivious to the fact that—just like their own users—we found a better way because we have options and we are certainly not going through the partition and eating up of Africa, yet again.

PayPal’s Love Letter to Africa: A Comedy in Fees