Are you a victor, or victim?

Life brings both joy and difficulties. How we meet each moment shapes our realities. Those who remain chained to the past, live life as prisoners, always asking “Why is this happening to me?” They replay old stories, attaching their current situation to events beyond their control. They always put themselves in the victim position.

In contrast, the victors take full accountability. When faced with challenges, they ask “What can I do about this?”.

Blaming others brings only self-inflicted pain, like drinking poison hoping someone else will get hurt. We imprison ourselves when believing external forces control our fate. True freedom comes from recognizing our power to respond.

Let me tell you a little story

Let’s say your car gets a flat tire while you’re driving home after a long day. You’re tired because you couldn’t sleep the night before, you were in a terrible mood already, and to make matters worse your phone is out of battery.

Are you going to just sit there in your car, angry at the tire manufacturer for not making your tire stronger? Will you just sit there and accept that you will spend the rest of your life stranded in that car? Thinking “If only they made my tire stronger, I wouldn’t have ended up like this” or “If only I had my phone or wasn’t so tired” while you wait for your inevitable demise?

Of course not! You won’t even let that option cross your mind. To hell with tiredness, needing a phone, or blaming the tire company, that’s not going to bring you home now, is it? You want to go home and you want to go home now!

You’d accept your current situation for what it is because no one but you is going to change it. You’d start evaluating your options because there is no way you’re not getting home in time to take a bath. You’d ask help from a stranger, you’d look for road signs to find the nearest city, and you’d walk there if you had to! Without a second thought! No matter what happens, you will find a way to get home, and if you don’t you’ll make one yourself!

So why would you do it when it comes to your life then? Why would you remain stuck in that car for any of the hundreds of excuses you could come up with? Is creating the life of your dreams, not something that deserves the same dedication and determination?

“Yes I would really like to get out of the car and go home, but next week I have this and that to do. On top of that It’s been really stressful in this car so now I’m too tired to get out of it. Once I feel a little better, then I can get out of the car”

Do you see the insanity in that? You’re feeling stressed because you’re not getting out of that car in the first place. The moment you simply stop thinking about it, open that door, and step out of that car, you’ll see a world of options to get home. You’ll even think to yourself “Wow I can’t believe I sat there sulking that long, There are so many options to change my situation!”

Habits are just habits

Luckily this is simply a habit of thinking that can easily be changed once you’re aware of it. For a good part of my life, I also had that habit. But once you realize it, and really see the pointlessness in it, you won’t allow yourself to do it for very long. You might still do it unconsciously at times, but sooner or later you’ll always realize what you’re doing.

Seeing our capacity to respond can be as easy as asking the right questions. Ask yourself the following things daily and I promise you, your life will change.

1. What do I want in my life?

2. If I really wanted to, what step could I take to get closer to it today?

If we plant seeds, we must nurture them by taking all the necessary steps, however small. Just wanting them to become a tree is not enough. But if we take care of it by creating the optimal conditions to grow and maintain it, it will inevitably grow. So don’t worry about how far it’s still away from being a tree, pay attention to doing what is necessary, so you don’t forget to water it.

Closing thoughts

Progress flows from seeing possibility in each moment and recognizing that circumstances only limit us if we let them. The doors of our imaginary prisons open when we embrace our infinite power to shape our lives. What we do today creates our tomorrow.

So next time life throws you a curveball, don’t just complain about how unfair it is. Ask yourself: What can I learn here? How can I improve for the future? You may uncover unexpected gifts in life’s difficulties. This mindset empowers us to see opportunities everywhere and turn challenges into catalysts for growth.

Help me out!

If you found this article thought-provoking, consider leaving a like, share, or comment. It really helps a ton in bringing it to the minds of more people!