Suffering is a stark reality, a force that dwells in the deepest recesses of our souls. Its presence can be unbearable, marking us with emotional scars that are not easily healed. Yet suffering is not a burden we should flee from. It is, paradoxically, the crucible of our growth and the hallmark of our humanity.
In a society where comfort has become the ultimate goal, the mere mention of suffering stirs discomfort. We view it as the unpopular kid in school, as someone to avoid even being seen with, let alone engaging in. Yet, herein lies the paradox: Our relentless pursuit of comfort leads to stagnation, dulling our senses and depressing our souls.
Consider the "Mouse Utopia" experiment, a controlled environment abundant with food, devoid of predators, and saturated with safety. Initially, the mice prospered, but over time, their community fractured and their essence altered. Females grew aggressive, males withdrew, and soon, their world withered away in a demographic collapse. They were not merely mice living in abundance; they became creatures debased by the absence of struggle.
This mirrors our human story in many unsettling ways. Like those mice, we live in increasingly regulated and structured societies. Our worlds are so designed to alleviate suffering that we are becoming less human and more indulgent. We are losing our nature, our need for challenges, for frontiers to conquer, and for obstacles to overcome.
However, unlike mice, we possess reason, the conscious power to shift our trajectory. We can embrace hardship as a form of spiritual awakening, a crucible where our better selves are forged. Gyms have proliferated not merely for physical well-being but because they serve our inherent need for struggle.
Marathons and obstacle races have surged in popularity, offering us the chance to confront our limitations head-on. Cold plunges and saunas have become popular in part because it stretches our bodies past their normal ranges.
Suffering, then, is not an aberration; it is an integral part of the human experience. To seek a life devoid of suffering is to miss out on the profound depths of love, the intensity of joy, and the soul-stirring power of art. To shun suffering is to remain perpetually a child, forever shielded from the complexities and richness of human life. Sadly, too many choose this much easier path.
Our perception of suffering needs to change. Do not curse it as a wretched plight but celebrate it as a catalyst for growth. For it is in the fires of suffering that we find our purpose, our resilience, and our true selves. Everything worthwhile, every meaningful experience, asks us to walk through the flames.
“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”
We humans have a terrible habit of comparing our suffering.
They have it worse than you, so your pain doesn't matter. You have it worse than them so how dare they complain?
There is absolutely nothing to be gained from this; it's a habit that only leads to more pain, that only creates a vicious cycle of more suffering.
We do this because we yearn for our own pain to be acknowledged and validated. To know that someone sees how hard we've tried, how much we've lost, how broken our hearts are. And in our deepest yearning to be seen, we isolate ourselves from the very people who could give us what we want most. It's a tragedy.
We all need to learn both how to acknowledge our own pain and how to acknowledge others' pain. That's what will help everyone to heal and move forward.
Embrace suffering, for it is the gateway to being human.
