Yesterday, someone told me a story. They were walking at their local park when they took note of a new, spider-webby-looking play thing at the jungle gym. It looked like fun. They wanted to go try it but worried what people might think of an adult on the playground. After some internal deliberation, they decided to do it anyway. It was a blast.
This morning, I was walking on the beach, near where the water meets the sand. I crossed a woman walking in the opposite direction. I was walking south and she was walking north so the sun was rising to my left and her right. I noticed from afar that she was wearing a hat that was pointed directly sideways, like a schoolboy in the 2000’s pretending to be a rapper. I hadn’t seen that style in a while, and never on a grown woman. At first, it struck me as odd. Then I realized it was blocking her face perfectly from the sun. It was not weird. It was smart. It was even cool because she didn’t care if it looked weird. I respected it.
Both of these stories share a similar thread. The person in them prioritizes what they want to do over how it may look to others. They are choosing to have a sensible ignorance of optics — the first one to have some fun, the second one to block the sun.
It would be extreme to suggest that optics don’t matter at all. The homeless person shooting up heroin on the sidewalk of a San Franciscan street is also doing what they want and ignoring the optics, but that can be really disturbing to the people around them. In addition to being generally unsmart, that’s just not sensible.
There are times when optics matter, when they should be prioritized over what you otherwise might want to do. You don’t show up to a wedding in sweatpants because you want to be comfortable. But sometimes it is best to have a sensible ignorance of optics.
After the first person I mentioned was done having fun on the jungle gym, they looked back to see that the father of the only kids there was now playing on the spider web himself. Believe it or not, the very next person I crossed on the beach was a man with his hat pointed sideways just like the woman. I doubt it was a coincidence. Ignoring norms in a way that’s worthwhile can inspire others to do the same. That’s how we break the bad ones and make the new ones.
So, next time you want to do something but you’re worried about the optics, don’t disregard that worry as unfounded — it’s useful — but ask yourself if it would be sensible to ignore them in this case. It will probably just result in some small story like the two I’ve told above. But you might just start a revolution.
