i could say sorry, that is what a big part of me wants to say:
"i'm sorry, dear community, for not being at the height of the circumstances".
finally i had some users for the app that i have been building all this time. people that really cared about it.
you, dear reader.
and i was not able to deliver towards that pressure.
somehow: i failed.
the interface through which i'm writing these words is basically the same than 3 months ago.
the book that was promised got stuck on a backlog of chapters that became impossible to read every day.
and even the $newen was not delivered on schedule as rewards to our loyal writers.
there are many, many ways on which i've failed to do what i set myself to do at the beginning of this sojourn.
and today, on the day on which the third sojourn of anky ends, i'm here to tell you:
i own it.
i own my mistakes. i own having hired a designed, paid 4k+ usd (more money than i've paid myself for working on this), and ditching all of that persons work because i don't feel it inside.
i own having said that i would implement AI as the vehicle for filtering the writings that happen through anky, and basically not doing anything of that yet.
the interface is boring. there is nothing happening besides the textarea where i'm writing this.
and i own that.
i own that boredom.
because here i am, still writing here. still coming for my 8 minutes.
and discovering, from the depths of my being, why.
what is the valuable part of doing this?
why do i keep doing it?
i own all of my mistakes because they've shown me what i care about.
how i deal with life.
and i've done my homework, all this time.
i've put in the work.
maybe not in the interface, maybe not organizing the lore. maybe not making this the most cohesive and well understood startup in the whole world.
but boy i've been sharpening some skills. opening my path on this journey towards being an entrepreneur.
from the inside out.
and i will be back on the next sojourn, and i will keep trying my best to make this unfold.
because i believe in it.
from the deepest of my core.
it may be that this sojourn could be seen as a failure,
but inside me, it is far from that.
everything that happened was a core learning that makes me who i am.
the pressure helps me grow.
and that's what i'm here for.
i'll see you on 21 days.
thanks for being who you are.
ps: this text was written through anky, on the last wink of the third sojourn. i wanted to paste a link in here for you to read it there, but i can't. when i tried to save it, the website broke, and my writing got lost.
but you know what?
it doesn't matter.
that's not the important part.
the important part is that it happened.
and i rest in the awareness of the consequences of that.
that's the practice.
day in and day out.
observing what wants to come. allowing it to come.
and melting yourself in the willingness for everything to be different than it is.
