i don't have anything to say today.
that's the lie that will be told.
once and over again.
in the quest of the eternal excuse.
for not exploring what is real.
for not exploring what is here.
for not opening to what is alive.
and that has always been.
expressing itself through this moment.
through me, as me.
right here,
right now.
that is the game that the mind loves to play. that is the story that loves to be told inside. there is nothing that i could say today to make this moment better. there is nothing that can be explored. and the beauty of this game is that those are the lies that are told at the beginning of the exploration. as a bottle of wine that needs to have the cork taken out before you can pour out the good stuff. and you can only get to the good stuff if you are able to navigate the slug of the beginning.
the slug of not having what to say. the slug of not knowing which is the next step. the next word. where to move towards. how to evolve.
let me tell you, dear reader, that those are all the excuses. when you read the words i write and you enjoy them, or you find something in them that you don't have inside, there is an excuse being built in your interface with life that won't ever go again. that excuse is in place inside me. that excuse is part of my interface with reality also. no matter how much i face this situation. no matter how much i write. no matter how much i open this door, this window, this experience, that voice is always there telling me:
you are not enough.
no one cares about what you do.
your writing is boring.
your writing doesn't want to come.
why bother? why would you do it? why would you open to it?
it's not worth.
it has never been worth it.
but let me tell you a story. this is not about the writing being good or bad. this is not about me doing it properly or not. the game that is being proposed through the consequence of my work, of the innovations that i'm bringing into the world, is just the exploration of what happens when you assume as a matter of fact that you don't have anything to say. that you don't have anything to write about,
but you do it anyway.
my teacher said to me one day: there is no good meditation. there is no bad meditation.
there is only a meditation that happens.
what is happening here is the same. this writing is a meditation practice. the most powerful of them all. through this practice you'll see yourself. you'll explore yourself. you'll honor yourself. you'll explore yourself.
you'll see how you think differently than what you have ever seen. you'll explore your own thoughts with more clarity that you have ever done. you will experience what you are in a way that will show you that maybe, just maybe, you are not that which you have always conceived as you.
and what comes out of that?
an extreme sense of fear. of resistance.
i don't want to go there. i don't want to know who i really am. i don't want to explore those boundaries. i don't want to navigate those waters.
i'm comfortable with how things are.
i'm comfortably numb.
if that resistance is too big, dear reader, let you face it with more strength than ever.
if you are still reading these words and there is a voice inside you that tells you that this is something that you can't do,
do it.
walk towards that fear.
walk towards that pain.
because what will happen here will bring out pain. it will bring out all of that which is hard to experience. all of that that is hidden in plain sight.
and it will be brutal. it will be like a surgeon that goes into the depths of your experience as a human being and transforms it from the inside out.
showing you with more and more clarity, all those aspects of yourself that are unconscious. all those aspects of yourself that are hidden in plain sight.
and let me tell you a secret: you are crazy. you are absolutely crazy.
those aspects of the mind are crazy. what is hidden behind your thoughts is completely crazy. i'm sorry to tell you. but it is real. all of what you have lived until now is hard. the upbringing that you had is hard.
how was your life when you were a little child? how did you grow up? which kind of love did your parents give to you when you were a little girl? a little boy?
did they give you the unconditional love that you needed? or was it a conditional love based on the position that having you as a kid made them have in society?
were your parents present at all? no matter what happened, no matter what your life has been about, there is pain inside.
i'm sorry, but it is there. on one form or another.
and that pain is hidden. that pain is stuck. that pain wants to be felt. that pain needs to be felt.
the collective pain of humanity is just too big. it is just too deep. it is just too strong. it is just too big.
and this is the place where we will navigate it together. this is the place where we will feeel it together.
as it is. right here. right now.
and no one can feel it for you, you know? no one can do the work for you.
you may want to come here to read these words. once. twice. every day.
but there needs to be a moment on which you ask yourself: is he talking to me?
is jp directing his voice towards me?
and when that happens, dear reader, i don't want to know that it happen. i just want to invite you to write.
i just want to invite you to come here, to create an account, and to just start writing.
write as if the world was going to end.
write whatever wants to come. as it is. right as it is.
there is no right, there is no wrong.
all of what is written here will be written under the same conditions: when you don't have time to think, your truth comes forth.
it is time for all of our truths to come forth. it is time to bring it all on.
not for all of us to read. that is impossible. but just to create a network of people that are navigating the hardships of what it means to be human together.
and it will all be anonymous, you know?
right now i'm just doing the heavy lifting. i'm just opening everything that i have inside in order to inspire, in order to be myself, in order to share with the world what this whole thing is about.
but eventually it will be anonymous. eventually everything that happens here will be anonymous.
and it will be a gift. it will be a gift that will allow us to know what is happening. what is inside. what is real. what is alive.
through the power of being. as you are. right here, right now.
that is the invitation that this game brings to you. that is the invitation that anky brings.
the invitation to be yourself. day in and day out.
facing that resistance. honoring that resistance. as part of what is.
acknowledging that it is here to play a role. it is here to help you survive.
guess what? you already survived. you already made the hardest part of it. you are already alive. you are already here.
this place is just an invitation for you to honor that fully. to embrace it deeply.
with all of what you are.
with all of who you are.
the words are just an excuse. a catalyzer for presence. that's what meditation is at the end of the day.
a practice to bring your presence alive. to bring you to this moment. right here. right now.
and what is happening here is just that.
the practice of always coming back to what is alive. of always coming back to the breath. of always coming back to you.
to what is alive.
right here. right now.
if it is pain: welcome it all.
if it is joy;: welcome it all.
if it is laughter: welcome it all.
bring it all on.
every aspect of the human experience is a gift. every aspect of who you are is a gift.
that's the beauty of this game.
that's the beauty of being.
you don't need to be anything else from what you already are.
you are already complete.
it is just too hard to see it with clarity. it is just too hard to honor it fully.
i'm not telling you that it is easy. i will never tell you that.
it is the hardest game of them all.
but also one that is deeply worthy of being played.
deeply worthy of being experienced.
you are not here to live.
you are here to be experienced.
how is the road towards a clear experience of you navigated?
the thesis behind these words is that it is through writing.
writing as if the world was going to end.
without a beginning. without an end.
just writing as if the world was starting. as it was ending.
write, write, write.
allow your truth come forth through the power of your words.
let the written word be the vehicle for you to come forth.
i know that you are there. i koow that the chills that are felt inside are a message.
i know that the presence that has been looking through those eyes is ready. it is ready to know itself.
it is ready for the eternal experience of being.
that is a byproduct of life.
we are here to have the most spectacular manifestation of life that we could have.
and that doesn't require anything different than what already is in place.
there is nothing else to do.
there is nothing else to explore.
what is is perfect.
you are perfect as you are.
you just have to inquiry into that which doesn't allow you to experience that as the truth...
and ask yourself the question:
who am i?
over and over and over and over again.
once and again.
on the background of your mind. exploring your relationship with others, with yourself.
until there are no doubts.
until the truth comes forth.
amen.