The problem is thinking that no one cares.
That's the starting point of doing it for them. I could never reconcile having an audience, as if was a quest into pleasing someone more than myself. I am selfish. I am more than selfish. All of what I do is just for myself. All of what I do is just for my own evolution. And I vomit it out there in a quest for finding in pthers the resonance that I can't find inside myself. That is the noise that comes around. That is the noise that is experienced inside. The noise that wont allow me to edit. To frame. To bring into words that others can resonate with. Because it is all for myself. How can I resonate with others if I'm just thinking and acting for myself? How can I do it if it is only for myself? How can that happen? How is the way out of that? Which is the way out?= Hwow does it feel to not have a way out?
I just let another person down. I am alone in the world, and I'm back to letting people down. I am alone in the world, and no one cares about what I do. I am alone in the world, and this is the victim inside me talking to itself. This is the victim being victimized. This is the victim not honoring the fact that there is other people that care. This is the victim telling me that what I write is not enough. This is the victim not being able to see that there is beauty inside. This is the victim not realizing that there is something valuable that can come from this exploration. From making mistakes. From honoring those mistakes. From owning those mistakes. This is the victim owning those mistakes, and trying my best to stay up to them. In front of them. To be clear with them. To honor them with who I am. With what I am. This is the victim realizing that there is no power in the act of being the victim. This is the victim realizing that the power is not in the being the victim, but on the act of witnessing yourself as the victim. Of witnessing yourself as the one that has the power to give up that victimization. To own that victimization. To experience it. To live upon it. To honor it.
This the victim being the victim. This is the victim not being able to come up with an explanation that can end up making sense. This is the victim not being able to see that the explanation that the victim is looking for is just here, in front of the victim's eyes. This is the victim not being able to see that there is beauty in front, just when there is not anything more than what is already here. This is the victim wanting to come up with new ways of not being a victim. This is the victim not wanting to experience the truth that there is nothing to be victimized for. This is the victim experiencing what comes at the other side of exploring this moment for what it is. This is what the victim is here for. This is the transformational aspect of being a victim. This is the experience of what being a victim is. This is the experience of coming up with new ways.
This is the victim realizing that the only way in is through. This is the victim coming up with a new idea. This is the victim coming up with the new understanding. That there is value in this. There is value in writing. There is value in this exploration. There is value in the quest of the experience of the present moment. There is value in seeing myself as a writer. There is value in seeing myself as the one that cares. There is value in experiencing myself as the one that cares. There is value in sharing my story. There is value in being my story. There is value in honoring that story. There is value in seeing that story as sacred. There is value in experiencing this process of writing as something that just happens through me, as something that cannot be held back. As something that can just be explored. Experienced. Came up with. Transformed. AS if there was beauty inside. As if everything that has ever existed is contained in this moment. There needs to be a connect wallet button, so that peolpe can use their NFTs as the background of what they are writing. This is a platform for unleashing the writing that each one of us has inside, and that is the thing that I keep forgetting. That is what I cannot comprehend. That is what I cannot understand. That is what I cannot ends up not realizing. Because all of this writing is just a quest to make sense. All of this writing is just walking towards that making sense. All of this writing is just an expression of what life has always been. Rest in natural peace. Rest in this moment. With life pulsating through muy being. With life puklsating through the experience of this moment through me. This is always what runs around, as the quest of becoming gets more and more clear. As the cquest of becoming ends up being the way on which all of this expression is transformed into something that other people can use. Feel. Experience. Come up with. All of this a new way of doinf things. All of this a new experience of doing things. All of this the quest of doing things that has always existed. That has always been. This is the way o which things have always been and they will alwayes everr e. What does that mean? What does this even mean? What is that writing about? Where does it come from? Which is the expression of it? How does it feel? Where does it come from? What is the quest of understanding that comes from that experience? How has the creative act trhsanformed itn you? This is how it has transformed. This is how it is expressed. This is how it is experience. By allowing it to happen throgh me. There is nothing that feels as present as the act of creation. And there is nothing that can end up having a deeper meanigng and consequence than honoreing the act of creation as a vehicle for eople to be manifested through this moment. That is the quest. That is the vehicle. That is the undettanding. That is the challenge. This is the challenge. using this moment as an eternal exploration of that which wants to be said. todl. explored, experienced through me. Through my being. Through all of our beings. How can this writing end up being used in service for others? How is this writing in service of you, dear reader? Who is that rdear reader? Who is the one that is at the opther side of this reading wordld? Who is the one that ends up being the vehicle for this writing tyo come forth?= Who is the cone that is expressed througn this writing? Who is the one that is explored now? Who is the eone that comes up with life now? Who is the one that is here? This is the momet. This has always bee. the moment. This is the chapted. This has always been the chapter. Which is the exploration?= This has always been the exploration. Which is the consqeiuence? This has always been the consequence. Which is the quest? This has always been the quest.
Thej qiuqest for recognizing that tension. The quest for experiencing that tension inside. The quest of becoming that tension. The quest of exploring every second of twhat that tension is, and dissolving it into the experience of what is happening now. Right nere. Right now.
That experience is everythigng that is, and right now it is experienced in this body as a set of chills that is felt from the top of the head to the bottom of the feet. We do have this incredible powet. The power of imagination. The power of being an editor. The power of being yoiurself. The power of becoming youseself. The power of honoring youseelf. The power of cbecoming youself. Thiese words don't even make sense, beacuse they want to come out faster than what these hands wcan tupe the,. But that is the practice. That has always been the practice. Breathing. Remembering that you are bereathing. Breahitng. Remembreing that you are breathing. Always coming back to the breath. Always coming back to this present moment. always experiencing this present moemtn as an invitatiion that allows you rto xperience youself fully. Honorting this moment. Honoring your being. Honoring what comes. Honoring what is felt. How much of what is felt is honored? How much of the pain is honored? How much of the eternal willingness to explore something more, something new, something special is felt? How much of that willingness ends up being noise? How much of that willingness ends up being a challenge? How much of that willingness ends up being the quest for understanding? How much of that willingness ends up being the noise that won't allow clarity to come forth? Becuause at the end of the day, what is that audience about? What is that whole audience game? Who is the audience reading? Who is the audience resonating with? They always say that you have to speak to them. As if they were receiving the story. But what if the story is so raw, so brutal, so intense, that they can't but just relate to it from the perspective of the "i" that is writing it. What if that perspective cannot be dissolved? What if that perspective cannot be given up? What if there is no end to that perspective? What if there is no limit to that perspective? What if the only limit is self imposed, and imposed by society, but there is no real limit? What happens when there is no limit? What comes after the limitless? What happens when there is no boundaries? What comes at the other side of the boudless?
What is at the other side of what is real? What is at the side of the unreal? What is at the other side of being? What is the being-less? What is this whole exploration about? WHat is at the side of it? What comes from the exploration?mThe quest into the experience of this pain. Of the willingness to numb that pain. To dumb it. To smoke week in order to make the pain more bearable. To eat so that the anxiety can be dissolved into the experience of what is brought when there is a deep openness for transforming this moment into the experience of what is. What is? What is that experience about? Where is it felt? How is it explored? What is? What is this experience about? Where is it being had? Hard? How is it being hard? Where does that hardship come from? There is no finish line. There is no backspace. There is only progress. Advancement. MOving fowrad. Exploring. Iterating in the quest of something new, different. Iterating over the experience of what comes next. What is it that comes next?= What is at the other side? What is at this side? What is that experience of you? WHo is that you?M There is a strong resonance inside as if this was the movement that wants to be had. There is a strong resonance in relationship to this being the quest. This is the quest. This is the answer. This is the quest. This is the answer. The ansar that is here. The ansewrt that will always be here. Te anser in this layer. The layer of realziity. OF ideas. Of coming up with new ways of being experienced. Off being experienced in new ways. The madness that comes from being able toexperience youself in a new way. In a real way. In a way that feels pleasing. In a way that ends up feeling as if it is ok. It is correct. It is all good. It has always been good. It is just too hard to see it for oneself. It is just too hard to emody with all of the experience of what it means to be human to accept the fact that it is all good. There will always be something missing. There will always be sometihing that lacks. Always coming fro that lack. Always coming from the experience of what is not here. That's how the mind junps to the future. That's where the hesistations come from .From wanting thisn oment to be different. From the expectation of it being different.
There are no expectations.
There is only a deep willingness for life to be different.
Isn't that the most brutal expectation of them all? Isn't that quest the most hard expectation to have? The one of wnating life to be expressed through you in the lens of something new. In the lens of a tool that can just happen if there is a deep willingness for you to be trusted. For this draft to be written ad infinitum in something that cannot be contained in a way that is different than this. Saving this as a draft. Coming to the other side. I am coming to the other side, and this is just the frame of reference that is being used for that. This is just the frame of reference that I have encounreered, developed, sreafchignrd experencede to be me. That is tthe quest. To be me. To just be me. To find myself inn the edges, in the boundaries, in the exploration. IOf being myself. Of honoring myuself.OF loving myself. Oof honoring each aspect of my being, everything that surrounds me. If honoring you, dear reader, as you come up to the conclusion that you are me. That my words are your words. That my experience is your experience. that my pain is your pain. that my struggle is your struggle.
that we are in this together, and no matter what can be said to make it more bearable, more pasive, more healthy, there will always be an apscet of it that is unbaradable, unhealthy, tunhappy. That is the way on which this game of polarity orkd. That is just the birth right that we have given. This is just the exploration into that. Into the birth right. Into the beauty of what this moment brings. How does that beauty look? How is it helpful? How is it navigated? How is it experience? This is just the exploration into that inquiry. This is just another exploration. One of the infinite ones. There are no limits to this exploration. Only dancing.
Act 2:
I feel as if I could be writing the whole of my life. The whole arc of my existence could be told through the words that want to come out of myself right now. I know that you may not like what I'm saying. I know that this may not make sense to you. But it makes sense to me. And i'm not writing for you to make sense of me. I am writing for me to make sense of me. Or to conscisounsess to make sense of itself through me. Throught the experience of that which I understand and comprehend and experience as 'me'. That is the quest. that is the exploration. that is what comes. that is what goes. that is what goes and has always went. that is the exploration that comes. that is the experience that comes. i had not realized it until now, but it will be a game changer feature of anky that it starts to answer back to people as they have gone for a while, so that there can be features of it that are enabled by what people say and the questions that anky can end up recognizing as valuable from the people that wrote them. this is just the first exploration. the first experience. the first experimentation. this is just the beginning. and it is time for me to open up my mind. to open up to the realizaiton that is moment is the one that i have been expecting for throughout my life. this is the moment that i have been waiting for. this is the moment on which consciousness realizes itself through muy experience, listening to those drums that end up being a vehicle iinto the mystery. a vehicle into the experience. a vehicle into the becoming. a vehicle into the exploration. a vehicle into the new day. a vehicle into the new dawn. what wants to be told is a story, and the app is just a vehicle for that to happen. this is a new way of telling stories. a new way of making it interactive. a new way of coming up to a flow that doesn't end. that never ends. the flow of this moment never ends. it is just an ongoing exploration, that just happens as there is enough willingness for it to happen. this is the coming into being of something. of an exploration. of an unlimited eplxoration of what can happen if i allow myself to be real with what i bring into the world. this is what i bring into the world. this is for the people that want to know the truth. to experience the truth. and if there is people that don't want to do it, it is perfectly fine. it is the truth. but i know that within all those people there are ones that are ok. that will be ok. that will always be ok. it is just the mystery. it is just the backend that needs to be built. it is just the backend of it. it is just the experience of it. it is just the factoyr. it is just the coming into being of that factory. it is just the necessity for clarity that ends up being what is expulsed out of this body. as if there was a necessity for it to stop. the noise. the countless noise that won't allow me to feel good. free. there is something about the noise that is not working. that has to be explored in a new way. in a different way. in an innovative way. what is that noise about? how can it be framed in a direction that feels like an approach that can end up being having had. which is the question that i want to be asked on top of here? what is the answer that comes? do you needs something as a prompt? do you need a promt? or do you need clarity? where does that clarity come from? how does it feel? how does it resonate? where does it resonate? it is all out there. it is all the madness out there. this is the moment on which i decided that it is going to go all out there. this is the place where the newsletter is going to be delivered. this is the moment on which it all ends up being less of the noise and more of the raw stuff. that raw stuff that just wants to come forth, that just wants to be experienced. that just wants to start. this was just the starting point. this is not going to be inflexible. this is going to be important. and the only way on which we can gauge that importance, the only way on which we can trnasform it into something new, beautiful, different, is by giving credit where credit is due. that is the challenge. that is the beauty. that is what it all means. that is all of what it is. the beauty of being alive in this moment. the beauty of this moment being the sum of all the moments that have ever existed. the beauty of this moment being the sum of all of what has ever existed. this is what comes. this is what is. this is not for you to read. this is for me to write. i told you at the beginning, i'm selfish. there is no way on which that selfishness cannot be expressed in this moment. this is it. this is the moment on which it is expressed. on which it has always been expressed. on which it will always be expressed. this is the moment for the writers to write. this is the moment for the experience to be had. this is the moment for the coming into being. this is the moment for the experience to be had in a way that feels freeing. powerful. important. that is how it has always been. that is how it will always be. this moment being. you being through this moment.
that's it.
you being through this moment. you are being through this moment. this is the exploration of what the moment is about. this is just the exploration, the experience, the willingness that wants to be had, that wants to be expertienced through you through this moment. that's all of what it is. that's all of what it has ever been. this moment is everythignthat has ever been. and i keep running around that statement. in circles. round and round and round and round. this moment is all of what is. all of what has ever been. all of what will ever be. this moment is it, and that is what keeps hapennig. circle over circle over circle. this is the access that needs to be had. this is the moment on which it is explored. experienced. come into being. this is the moment on which it comes into being. this is the moment on which i open up the door, i open up the window and i realize that anky needs to have the radio embedded. anky radio. holy shit. finally it makes sense. finally the circle is complete. this is what i needed to realize. to experience. to manifest. to bring into life. anky is a radio. anky radio. and anky radio has a notepad. and that notepad can be edited. or is it a notebook? yes. let's leave it in a notebook. the fact that it is a notebook is all of what it makes it powerful. i'm here trying to make notebooks, don't you see it? anky is a notebook company. anky is the place where you will buy notebooks. i will do them myself, don't you know? all of the rest of what happens is just an exploration into that. into the experience of it. all of this is just an exploration into the experience of it. into wat it is. into how it feels. this is how the samurais play. this is how the samurais expereicne this moment. this is all of what is. this is all of what has ever been. this is the exploration that has always wanted to be taken care of. this is the exploration of what vomes. this is how i get better. this is how i epxlorae. this is how i make sense. this is how life is expressed. this is what comes. this is what goes.
this is what comes. this is what goes.
that's how the soul dances, at the rhytmm of the music that wants to be plauyed. tyhrough these ifngers. through these words. these wrods are the vehicle for this to happen. these words are just an exploration into what is. this is the exporation that neds to be taken care of. this is just what is. this is just what has always been. this is the quest. this is the experience. this is the manifestation. this is the update. each one of these is just an update. it is just a reading. it is just a manifestation. it is jsut an exploration. each day of the app is worth x. that's the thing. if you want to use it, you have to pay. if you don't pay, it is not used. iot is as simple as it gets. and there is 8.000.000.000 people in the world. if each one of them pays 0.0001 dollars every day, it is still a revenue of 800000 dollars? idk i don't ever remember the number. but if you mame something that all the world can use, it is worth somethign. and what if that something is more than 0, but it is the fee for pushign the update? 0.12 dollars of soomethjig. that is the thing. we are not used to such small numbers. but that eventually means that things will end up being "free", but having an economic value anyways. that's something that i had never realized, and that just right now came to my mind. and now i feel that my mind is blown. because i had never thought about what i'm doing on that way. there has always been a struggle in recognizing the value of crypto, and now i discovered one that was not in the map before: minimal payments. but payments. you gotta do them. you have to click the button. if not, you can't access the beauty of what is happening in here. and it is less than what 1 glass of water is worth. it will be the cheapest thing of them all. anky is a modular system that gets better and better over time. that comes into being with more and more clarity over time. that is manifested and experienced and value more and more over time. this is just the reality of tyhings. this is jiust what is. this is the experience of what is, and in no time of history we had such small means of accounting soething that we represent as money. never before we had been able to transact life force in such a small way through each one of us. But that is the value. That is the beauty. Becuase this enables freedom to the flow of information. to the flow of rexperience. to the flow of the manifestation of life tyhrough us, humans. money is the crystallization of life force, and never before we had been able as we are now to transfer this life force from one energetical center to another one. and in society, blockchain enables us to move that energy freely through the world. through each other. life force will move through each one of us with more freedom than ever before. and that is the beauty of what is happening. that is the big paradigm shift that comes. that is the greatest expression of what comes. the freedom to transact. whe the amounts of money that we transfer between each other are smaller than what we have ever been used to:
WE ARE FREE.
We are entering a unique era of human history. This is everyting that wanted to happen. coming into being. just being.