I’ll be using this space to expand my thoughts and feelings, as an exercise would. If you’ve read so far, thank you!
I hope we can embrace each other through the bad and good days. And through the big and small dreams too!
When we are kids, we are frequently asked about our dreams.
“What do you want to work with?” “Where do you want to live?”, “How many kids do you wanna have?”.
We tend to live with this idea that dreams are actually what we want to achieve.
Then we grow up and realize being able to dream, as we know it, is in fact a privilege.
Some will have their dreams come true before they know it. Some won’t. It’s not about deserving, it’s about being able to – and sooner or later we realize this is also a privilege question.
It can be frustrating to misunderstand targets and dreams.
I’ve worked with so many things and I have this silly idea I “did wrong choices”. I “didn’t work out well”.
As I make my 29th birthday I realize I’ve been looking at it all wrong.
The big dreams, who I wanted to be, where I want to live, how many kids I want to have, those big questions with big answers.
They’re important, but let’s be honest: if we died for failing our big dreams, there would be 3 people left in the world.
Those are targets. We can fail them. It’s uncomfortable, but bearable. We can tailor them to different places, it changes according to our mind.
Yet, when we are kids we don’t pay much attention to the so called “small dreams”.
“I want to be happy”. “I want to find love”. “I want to look the sun set every day”. “I want to have my family around”. Those are answers commonly forgotten because we were frequently asked after “Everyone wants that. What’s your big one?”
As if experiencing happiness and family love on adult life was granted.
Guess what? It’s not.
It’s the “small dreams” that keep us going. That friend meeting you in a thursday night. That call on a wednesday morning. Those who bear mondays with you. The blue sky of a sunny day and the grey skies of cloudy days. The smell of fresh coffee or that sensation of laying in your bed, under your preferred blanked.
My dad always told me I could have whatever I wanted. I was given the same answer spiritually.
And I used to be so ambitious. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But right now, I realize my ambitions have changed.
I just want to experience new sunsets. Breathe different air, immerse in different cultures. I want to help other people. I want to feel the happiness of a silly laugh. I want to be able to feel my tears roll down my face without any guilt.
I just want to be me.
They used to call it a small dream. But I guess this is my biggest one.
So cheers to our small dreams!
