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The Power of Kindness: Moving Beyond Niceness

The Difference Between Being "Nice" & Being "Kind"

In personal development coaching, the concepts of being "nice" and being "kind" hold distinct meanings and implications. While being nice is often associated with comfort and making others happy, being focuses on the well-being and growth of individuals.

Over the years in coaching I have noticed an unmistakable behavior from public. People often say "nice" things to others even thought in most situations being nice doesn't often benefit them.

This article explores the differences between being nice and being kind, highlighting why the latter (being kind) is more beneficial to you and others around you.


Understanding the Difference between Being Nice and Being Kind:

Being nice refers to behaving in a polite, agreeable, and considerate manner towards others. It often involves avoiding conflict, seeking approval, and prioritizing harmony. Being kind, on the other hand, mean that you have genuine care and compassion for others, even if it means delivering difficult truths or challenging them for their growth. Telling someone what they NEED to hear rather than what they WANT to hear. It is a difficult choice, but its the right one to make.


The Pitfalls of Being Nice:

Being nice can sometimes be counter-productive in its own way. When focusing solely on maintaining harmony and making others happy, you may neglect the opportunity to address deeper, and more important issues to provide constructive feedback. The intent to comfort can limit the potential for growth and hinder that persons progress. So even thought your intention is good, understand that it does not benefit them to tell them what they want to hear. If you are true with your intention to help make them better humans, you need to be constructive. This does not mean you have to be rude. You can be kind and not be rude to others.


The Power of Being Kind:

Being kind means prioritizing the best interests of that individual. Instead of merely telling them what they want to hear, it involves having the COURAGE to deliver uncomfortable truths or challenges that may lead to personal growth. You wont always be "liked" for delivering these uncomfortable truths, but it speaks a lot about your character and your reasons to help. By being kind, you can empower others to face their obstacles, discover their true potential, and make meaningful progress in their personal and professional lives.


Ways to Practice Kindness in Personal Development:

  • Active Listening: Show genuine interest in your people by deeply listening to their concerns, needs, and aspirations. This helps build trust and rapport.

  • Providing Constructive Feedback: Offer honest and constructive feedback, even if it may be challenging for them to hear. Focus on areas of improvement and offer actionable steps towards growth.

  • Challenging Limiting Beliefs: Identify and help others overcome self-limiting beliefs that may be hindering their progress. Encourage them to reframe their perspectives and adopt a growth mindset.

  • Encouraging Accountability: Help others take responsibility for their actions and decisions. Encourage them to set realistic goals and hold themselves accountable for their progress.


Conclusion:

In personal development coaching, being kind goes beyond surface-level niceties and focuses on genuine care, growth, and empowerment. By prioritizing the well-being and progress of individuals, coaches can deliver the necessary guidance, feedback, and challenges that lead to transformative change. So if you ever thought why I choose not to be nice, that is the reason. You can embrace kindness as a guiding principle in coaching to they can pave their way for personal growth, resilience, and lasting success.


"You attract what you behave" - Malek

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