Practicing the art of subtraction felt odd to me at first. I started many years ago with things. Clothes. Furniture. It was fun and scary to go through things and see what I could easily let go and what I couldn't.
Letting go of things was tough at first, but got easier over time. I got a storage unit for whatever I couldn't truly let go of. The stuff in that storage unit fills it up less and less. It takes years, but it feels more and more comfortable as I go along. I don't need very much. And once I let things go, after a while, I don't miss them.
This year I've moved onto daily habits. Daily habits are hard to subtract from daily life because it's disorienting at first living without them. The lack of a habit creates an empty space in each day and forces me to question how I think of life in its fullness and how I think of eternity. Lots of existential questions come up when I removed heavy exercise, for example. Bad habits can easily replace them. I didn't realize how much I wrap my identity in what I do every day. And how easily I can "fall off the wagon."
But it was interesting looking at my daily habits like I look at my closet:
"Do I really need to do this?"
"Does this bring me joy/ delight?"
"Can I live without this?"
When I started questioning my habits like I question my clothes, I realized many weren't serving me. Even "good" or "healthy" ones, I've outgrown. My heart feels lighter without them.
As I practiced subtraction in my habits, I felt a natural impetus to move onto dreams. As I was stripping away morning rituals and afternoon routines, I realized they were connected to larger dreams I had for myself, for my life. I didn't realize this at first (for about 5 years), but there has been bigger movement--tectonic-plate-shifting type of movement within me--when I subtract life-long dreams and expectations of myself.
"Do I need to hold onto this idea of marriage/ kids?"
No. I can give it to my psychological Goodwill and let it go.
"Do I need to hold onto this dream of making a lot of money?"
No. I can survive on very little, actually. And since I'm practicing the art of subtraction in my "things" anyways, it helps. Without a ton of money, there's less temptation to accrue things.
"Do I need to hold onto this dream of becoming a writer?"
No. I can simply enjoy the act of writing, call myself a writer in my head, and let the rest take care of itself.
By letting go of dreams, I've let go of this invisible chain to a future that doesn't exist. It causes me to be more present. I can't think of the "what if." I have to live for today.
I believe the more I subtract in my life, the more I make my life an empty bowl, and therefore the more I'm able to hold within it things that I haven't created - things I've attracted by simply existing. These are things, people, experiences that feel in harmony with my authentic self.
As I work my way through my dreams, I'm interested to see what the empty space fills with. So far it's longer talks with my sister who's going through a divorce, longer talks with my mom, more time in nature just sitting and staring at the river or trees, more reading, a bit more doom scrolling, for sure, and a lot more curiosity.
If I subtract not only habits but dreams, too, who knows what will come? The road ahead looks much more curvy and exciting, less like a boring, straight line.
