Our body is a vessel.
Made of limbs. Organs. A heart. A brain.
It takes us through life.
It allows us to experience our days.
As we make our way onward,
Stories develop within.
Our experience is customized.
Our personal development begins.
Thoughts, feelings and emotions are there.
Of these things we may be aware.
Our body is our vessel that takes us through life.
It propels the external.
Of my body, you have sight.
It is the physical. The tangible.
It is flesh that is seen.
It portrays us to others.
The world’s external vision of me.
The shape of my hand. The width of my wrist.
They’re things that aren’t hidden. They can be seen and not missed.
What about the pieces not visible to your eye?
What about the things that are internal; inside?
Can you see my emotions?
My yearnings and desires?
Can you see when I’m hurting?
When, inside, sadness brings pain?
Or is a tear to the external the only time that I am sad throughout the day?
Am I only happy and joyful when a smile is shown on my face?
Or are my life strings constantly flowing - and the visible is only a fraction that makes up the race?
For a long time in life, my experience was this:
I was how you saw me - was I full of happy and bliss?
Was there sadness or anger? An ounce of hurting or pain?
Who did you perceive I was on that day?
My identity encompassed in the external.
Largely defined by the crowd.
It was me.
Though I was partially mundane and muted throughout.
Was I this or was I that?
The answer came from these things:
Which one was accepted? Which one was less to stir the pot?
Which one wasn’t ‘different’? Which one fit the mold that you sought?
For if I was happy and fine - deemed okay to those who’d surround - wouldn’t that be the answer to a life that’s sublime?
Living and being through parts of me.
Yet halting the pieces that felt difficult to let you see.
The pieces I feared you may question.
And label as different or bad.
The sprinkle, pinch and zest that made up the internal me.
These things were halted.
The sprinkles frozen in their tracks.
The pinch caged on the inside.
That zest would not externally be latched.
You see, I am often scared of my yearnings.
The desires in my soul.
For they feel profound; different.
Much easier to internally hold.
For what questions would come if you had a glimpse at the whole me?
If you saw, what actually would you see?
Do others have cages surrounding pieces of their souls?
Do others have wishes to let themselves be whole?
Through speaking and listening to others along my way.
I believe that it is not just I who feels this way.
I have learned that those cages. That we hold deep inside.
Though they may serve a purpose today;
They can brew something different.
Things we do not hope or desire.
They can bring about sickness.
Harsh emotions and pain.
Though we think they can guard us.
Protect us from shame.
Sometimes their presence can be the answer to our struggles today.
Though fears and worries and anxieties may spur.
Like a light in the darkness,
I desire to allow the Inside to be externally heard.
