Today is the day. Another year done. Another moment in time and trip around the sun.
What a time it has been – thinking about now compared to then.
As I look back at this time- this year seems like the blink of an eye.
They don’t flash a warning sign at you saying – “Alert! Alert! Watch out for what’s ahead!” when curveballs cross your way.
There isn’t a life sized yield sign telling you to slow down as there’s about to be a fork in your road.
Let’s be honest- this year has not been easy. For anyone.
This time in our world; it’s unprecedented. It’s unimaginable. It doesn’t seem okay.
There’s a new ‘normal’ on our horizon. We’re living in a new period of time.
It’s new. It feels… different. It feels… uncomfortable. It feels… not okay.
During this time, we have been forced to slow down. To stay in. To sit with ourselves To explore our thoughts. To feel our feelings.
Concerts have been cancelled and shows postponed. Our world has turned virtual and our outings have been closed.
Nothing that was once normal now goes.
Some of us probably feel like we want to throw in the towel. Give up on this year. Turn around and completely change gears.
Reality is tough. Reality is true. And it’s uncomfortable now for me and for you.
We cannot change our circumstance. We cannot change the times.
But what we can do won’t even cost us a dime.
We can look for the positives. We can see the good stuff. We can climb to get ourselves out of this rut.
Slowing down can be good. It can help us realize all that we have. It can stop us from escaping the hard and the bad. It can check us. Let us feel the happy and the sad.
This year doesn’t feel right. It’s less than ideal.
And yet, we’re here and it is very real.
So, here are some lessons. Some lessons I've learned in time. That I’d hope you’d be able to have at your side:
Holding things in is never the answer.
Opening up and talking about what is going on can be the saving grace to relieving the anxiety that we may feel.
You have to prioritize your relationship with yourself- for, at the end of the day, you’re the one that will actually show up for yourself.
I’ve learned over the last few years that putting effort into myself- who I am, what I do, what I want to be – can help me reap many benefits within myself. When I focus on myself, on what I want and who I want to be; I am filled with delight and purpose. I am able to connect with my authentic self- the Mel that was put here for a purpose.
Needing help is okay.
I certainly have learned this. Over the last few years I have been in and out of treatment centers to get help with my eating disorder. Times have been good and times have been really tough. I have learned through the process that help is there for a reason. It is there to help us when we cannot, on our own, help ourselves.
It’s okay to lean on others sometimes.
Your support system around you is there for a reason. Friends. Family. Loved ones. Professionals. You should be able to lean on them. You should be able to go to them and talk the real life things out.
Confidence doesn’t make you arrogant. Confidence means you’re okay with who you are. Don’t be afraid to be confident.
I used to be afraid of confidence. I thought if I was confident I would be seen as conceded and rude. I thought it would make me self-centered and self-obsessed. Over time, I have learned to respect and envy those who exude confidence. I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t have to make you arrogant. It can mean that you are okay with yourself. That you respect yourself. That you give yourself the space to be uniquely you.
It’s normal to doubt yourself sometimes. Just don’t let that doubt keep you from reaching your dreams.
I’ve always struggled with self-doubt. I have lots of dreams- but I’ve always felt like they could never be my actual reality. I have let doubt overtake my actions. I have let doubt stop me. This year, I want to challenge that – and I hope you can too.
Dream BIG- and realize that those dreams can be your reality if you set your mind to it.
Do not ever hold yourself back from your dreams. You CAN and WILL accomplish them if you set your mind to it!
When you’re hurting, ask for help.
It is normal to shy away from others when we are hurting. I believe everyone in some way struggles with that battle. I have learned from experience that asking for help when you need it means you are stronger and more courageous than you believe. It takes a willing heart to ask for help and find what you need.
Life is going to throw you curveballs. Understand that you cannot always dodge them. Sometimes hiccups in the road are meant to be.
Life certainly does not go the way we always expect it to. Whether you lose your job abruptly or an accident turns the wheel on your life – there are always going to be unexpected hiccups in our roads. We have to learn how to take them on, maneuver ourselves, and keep on going. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason- so, there are reasons for those hiccups, too.
Therapy is a tool that we should all have in our toolbox.
Therapy has saved my life. Literally. You don’t have to believe you have a “problem” to seek some therapeutic help. Talking things out is always a good thing. How could it harm? I believe it should be in everyone’s back pocket.
Adventures don’t have to be plane rides away. Adventure can be found even just around the corner today.
Sometimes we get cooped up in our lives and find ourselves fascinating over others- at least I do. It helps to remember that we do not have to jump on a plane and go a continent away to find adventure. Sometimes the best adventures are found right down our street. Be creative in the ways you interact with the life around you!
Practice the things that make you smile.
Above you see the progression of a photo of the Ponte Vecchio in Florence that I drew. Right now you are reading something that I wrote. Drawing. Sketching. Writing. Thinking of the people and places that I love in the world. These are all things that make me smile. They’re my coping mechanisms for anxiety and they help to bring me out of my head. I believe we all can get stuck in our heads sometimes. Stuck in the thoughts that surround us and progress throughout our days. Remember the things that help to bring you back to the present. They can be very useful tools when days seem tough.
Take the risk. Take the chance. Give that big dream a fighting chance.
Last but not least, take the risk. The chance. Go for your dream. At the end of the day… what’s the worst that could happen? This is how I hope to live my year ahead. Instead of letting circumstances and situations stop or slow me down; I intend to find a way to maneuver through them in a way that I can prosper on the other side.
I hope these can help.
Give feelings of peace.
Remember that we can do the work to put ourselves at ease.
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