To hold onto something is to grasp it tight and dare to never let go.
We all fall into things – habits, rituals, routines.
Throughout our lives we define things that we will dare to hold onto and things of which we will choose to subtly let go.
To let go is an act of willingness.
Whether it is a good or a maladaptive behavior that we are loosening from our hold – it takes willingness to hold it tight and willingness to let it go.
Some things cling to us.
Some things become enmeshed with our identity.
To those things, it may be difficult to let go.
Our lives are a puzzle.
Each day, each step, each action – a piece to the greater whole.
Some pieces we hold onto. Some pieces we strive to put into place – but their place is not part of that greater whole.
Their place does not belong.
That piece may be something we are holding onto, something that we struggle with.
Something we hope and pray that we do not have to let go of.
Because it serves a purpose.
It doesn’t belong - but it helps us, in some way, to get along.
It isn’t until we let go of that piece that we can truly find our puzzle’s whole.
But it is hard.
For me, that piece is my eating disorder.
Letting go of it places me in an unknown. A territory that is scary to me.
A territory that I fear stepping into for it is the unknown.
That piece served a purpose in my life.
It was a protective layer that held me above ground.
I clung to it as a floating device. To get me through. To keep me safe. To allow me to not have to let go.
Without it, the world seems scary.
Without it, my identity isn’t the same.
Without it, I feel I am gasping for air.
But- without it is the only way for me to fulfill my greater whole.
Without it is the only path that can lead me to my true self and true destiny.
You see, it was a maladaptive survival technique.
It served a purpose.
In some way, it got me through.
But it cannot live with me forever.
To be me, I have to let it go.
To let go is an act of willingness.
To let go is an act of courage.
Bravery.
To let go is to have the audacity within yourself to lay down the puzzle piece and pick up a new one.
To find a new path.
To live authentically.
Your piece may not be an eating disorder.
Your piece may take a different form.
Like mine, your piece may be hard and scary to let go of.
But your right, fitting part of the puzzle piece is worth the fight.
It is worth the search.
It is worth it to let that wrong piece go.
Our lives.
Our worlds.
Our puzzles.
They’re complex. They’re difficult. They’re hard to navigate and the wrong pieces will come about. The wrong pieces will take their forms.
It is worth it to have the willingness to let go.
It is worth it to have the courage to move forward.
It is worth it to unclench your grasp and dare to let go.
Here’s to finding the pieces that make up our greater whole.
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