"Do you drink coffee because you enjoy it or because you are tired?"
I am in a coffee shop. I walked in after a few hours of exploring the newest city on my nomadic, slow travel journey. I landed here through a recommendation from a local designer whose studio was a few doors down.
“Do you have a favorite cafe in the area?” I asked after getting to know her and her craft.
"We love the coffee next door."
I walked in and asked if there was a house specialty that the barista would recommend.
"Well, do you drink coffee because you enjoy it or because you are tired?"
I paused. What an interesting question. I had never taken a moment to think about that before.
Hmmm... I thought in my mind as I stalled in the moment.
"Because I enjoy it..." I said in a faltering voice.
He made his recommendation. I ordered, paid and sat myself down all the while my mind was stuck on contemplating the question.
I am rarely asked questions like this. A question about the reasoning and motivation behind an ordinary occurrence.
My mind lingered.
Why do I do what I do?
What is the motivation behind the practices that I brew?
Are my natural occurrences things of which I chose to take hold?
Do I feel that I should because of the societal rules that stand bold?
Are things done because I enjoy them?
Are my actions a way to fill a need or void?
Do I do things because I was told to? Or because they fulfill a desire?
What is the motivation behind the things that I do?
Do the things that I want hold ample space inside?
Do I filter my path to blend in better outside?
Do I drink that coffee
Do I drink that tea
Because I want to
Because I enjoy it
Or because it was a way that I observed is acceptable to be?
You see, this question caught me off guard. It put a stop in my tracks. My brain's process halted as I pondered this ask.
For this world is big. It is mighty and grand. Many peoples, cultures and societies are at hand.
We all have our normal. Our quote on quote way to be.
I wonder, how is our functioning affected by the things that we see?
There are messages, silent rules and expectations that surround.
Do we pick up and adopt them because they match our desire?
Or is there fear of a difference our being would portray
If we do not abide by the rules that we internalize each day?
Live here. Walk there.
Buy this. Pass on that.
Take this up. Walk away from that track.
Abide by your elders. Go to school. Get good grades.
Find a career. Succeed. Make money. Earn praise.
Get married. Have a family. Function with love, not hate.
Follow the rules. Do not break them.
If you do, your difference will display.
In this world that we live.
What does difference even mean?
What type of slide would it receive on the presentation we would see?
Is being different from what is normal colored with happiness and joy? Is it presented as a strong suit? An asset we contain?
Is it painted by a depiction of sadness? Of struggle? A felt void?
Is strength seen in our differences? Highlighted as pieces that make us unique?
Or is the depiction the opposite? A story of highlighted weaknesses streamed?
We all start out as babies. As humans with needs. Our safety and security we cannot, on our own, receive.
Do we learn to abide by the rules and the norms to ensure our safety? To meet our needs?
As we grow and transition. As we progress in life. Do we learn that it is okay for a shift to take sight?
If what we feel in our souls. If what we desire to be. If our yearnings do not match the rules that we see.
Do we understand that it is okay to be authentically who we are? To go after what we want even if those desires do not match the rules, but our heart?
Do we learn that we can break them? Do we understand it will be okay? Or do we continue to follow the expectations that society has laid?
Do we conform and adjust ourselves to take part? Do we adhere to expectations to not break the understanding of who it is that we are?
"Do you drink coffee because you enjoy it or because you are tired?"
When asked questions about things; be them simple or grand
Do we answer freely?
Do we hold to our truth?
Do we allow the space for an answer that may be different than the one that society would obtrude?
Why do you do what you do?
Is it because you want to?
Or is it because of a societal expectation in which you felt you should take part?
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