What objectives do I pursue?
"Do what you prefer."
I don’t know what I prefer to do until I've decided what sort of life I want to lead or how I want the world to be.
"What sort of life do you want to lead?"
I want to be rational, living in the here-and-now, working on problems based on a reality that I'm capable of changing.
"Does this mean you're unhappy until you live this reality that you desire?"
Not really, I recognize my desires are preferences. My happiness is independent from whether I achieve what I want or not. Lowering my expectations and detaching from my desires would keep me content with my present situation.
"You seem to have it figured out, does that mean you're happy?"
Nah, I'm depressed at the moment because I don’t have it figured out. It’s tough to detach yourself from desires. They’re part of my programming, but yes I consider myself happy.
"That makes no sense, how can you be both happy and depressed?"
I can think of nothing more boring than to attain a state of being perfectly happy, which some people seem to chase. I see no use for it, other than outward appearances and status driven goals. That sort of happiness has nothing to do with what I want, which is to discover truth of myself, how the world is, why, and how it should be.
“But you said you don’t have yourself figured out, how can you discover truths about the world? A smooth criminal once said, If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.”
People see awareness as if it’s at the top of a mountain. They make a goal out of awareness, which is the wrong approach. True awareness implies there’s nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. It’s each step of the mountain. There’s no point wanting to experience awareness. You're just observing yourself with your thoughts in the moment. That's probably what Michael Jackson meant in the song.
“I see what you and MJ mean. When you say you want to experience every moment, you really mean awareness, without “wanting.” You’re either aware, or you’re not. Right? Living in the present, like what monks practice”
Right.
“What good does awareness do for anyone? Thieves or sociopaths can be aware of their actions, what good does it do for them?
A system is about as good or as bad as the people who use it.
“Ok, so awareness unfolds as you live. What good would having awareness of yourself do for the world? By your definition of awareness, you can never figure yourself out.
That’s right. I’m just figuring out my thoughts and actions. No judgments, just watching where it’s coming from and why. It’s tough and I consider myself to still be unaware of reality. I'm just in my data collection phase, trying to make sense of 'me'. I have no right to interfere with anyone else or with the world. Attempting to change others when I’m not aware can be dangerous. I may be changing things for my own convenience, my pride, my beliefs and convictions. When I move out to change the world or others, I don’t want it to come from hate, ignorance, or negativity, but from love. After all, evil and failure is due to insufficient knowledge. To recognize this is to be an optimist.
“You first asked me what objectives you should pursue. You mention that your happiness is independent of that desire. You suggest that awareness isn’t something that can be chased, but it’s the chase itself. You claim to be unaware of your own reality. This has been a confusing conversation. You sir, are no optimist, you're a hypocrite."
So be it.
