Hi Crowd!

Remember when I said I was going to write shorter single topic posts? lol 

I grew up in a fairly traditional Catholic family. I went to Catholic school, was an altar boy, had an aunt who was a nun, and had grandparents who would not infrequently hint at how nice it would be to have a priest in the family. I was also told from the very beginning that everyone hated us. I was warned that I would face prejudice and harassment because of "our faith," and told to pray for the strength the get through it, and to always know that God and Jesus and Mary and various other saints from the (definitely not polytheistic) pantheon of Catholic mythology were looking out for me. I even had my own personal guardian angel because God loved me. But, I was also reminded how guilty and shameful I should feel about basically everything and how I needed to regularly ask for forgiveness for my inherent sinful nature, or I would burn in hell for all eternity. The world was positioned to me as “us and them.” Catholics and everyone else. (subtext, we were better than them) Even other Christians were suspect. For various logistical reasons I attended an Episcopal school for a few elementary school years but at home was reminded that even though they were “technically” Christians they had it wrong and were probably going to hell so I needed to be careful not to let them influence me.

I took these warnings seriously. I mean, the adults wouldn't mislead me right? I believed I had the fortune/misfortune of being born into the only true religion, but also that we were the extreme oppressed minority and I would always be the victim. As I got older I started to wonder more about all the other people. Would they really be punished for believing different things even if they were good people? What about the people doing bad things - hurting and killing people, all they had to do was ask Jesus to forgive them on their deathbed and everything would be cool? What about people who never heard of Christianity, how could God love them but also punish them for all eternity? These questions were brushed off with either “God works in mysterious ways” or more directly “stop asking those kinds of questions and go pray for forgiveness right now.” The message was pretty clear, blindly accepting what you are told is good, questioning it is bad.

One day when I was 11 or 12, a popular priest from our church asked my family if I'd be able to join him on his day off to run some errands. They thought this was a wonderful idea and how lucky I was to get to spend some personal 1:1 time with him. He picked me up at my grandparents house wearing shorts and a t-shirt which was completely shocking to me as I'd never seen him wearing anything but the normal priest uniform. His car was older but in good condition and shiny, I can still vividly picture the fuzzy brown carpet in the passenger seat foot area - it was so clean that I was worried to let my shoes touch it. He drove me to his mothers house, she'd recently moved into an elder care facility and he had to pick up some stuff for her. Inside he made me a sandwich and gave me some lemonade, told me some sex jokes and then masturbated in front of me. Afterwards, he asked me to get on my knees and pray with him so that Jesus would forgive us both. The carpet in his mother's living room was the same brown as his car, but much more plush. I remember how my knees made dents in it and how it felt as I twirled a few strands in between my thumb and forefinger.

By the time I got to high school I’d recognized that organized religion was mostly a scam to bring in tax free bags of cash and provide cover for various crimes. Years later when floods of sexual abuse stories started surfacing I remember thinking, wait is that what happened to me? (the storyline with Aimee on the bus in Sex Education felt surprisingly familiar.) It took decades for me to realize what I'd actually been through. The few people I cautiously mentioned it to expressed concern, but not enough to impact their (often financial) support of the church. It was clear that if I'd demanded people pick a side, my bench would be empty. Sure this was painful, but more importantly it was a learning moment where I saw how powerful and blinding this kind of long term indoctrination can be. It's always easier to just look away.

Over the years I’d talk with others who, later in life, had come to the eventually unavoidable realization they’d been lied to, taken advantage of, and that their actions had enabled and facilitated the abuse of countless others. I saw them struggle, and how painful this was for them to get away from it. In a way I feel lucky to have seen through the facade and discarded it all at such a young age, I didn’t have a life time of actions and beliefs to try to reconcile. And beyond just a personal realization, there’s the social conditioning where people are ostracized and attacked by people they used to consider friends and family for changing course. If your entire social circle is attached to a group or organization and you realize they are bad actors that you can’t continue to support, walking away means you lose your friends too. So for a lot of people just turning a blind eye is easier. If it doesn't impact them directly, they can just kind of pretend it's not happening and go on with life like everything is normal and fine.

I'm not just talking about Catholics of course, I have Jewish friends today who are struggling with similar reality shattering realizations, having grown up being conditioned and indoctrinated to believe Israel is the shining beacon of everything wonderful and good in the world. Who were led to believe their personal identity was somehow tied to a government on the other side of the world, who was also their only protector in a world out to get them. A story which they just accepted, until faced with images and videos making it unquestionably clear that this isn't the case. It's painful. I recently saw the documentary Israelism by Erin Axelman and Sam Eilertsen which follows Simone Zimmerman (co-founder of IfNotNow) and others in their journey of deprogramming. It's a powerful film shining a light on a story of struggle that I think a lot of people don't know about, definitely recommended.

There are also others doubling down and repeating talking points that have been drilled into them about things like the most moral army in the world and a trusted ally with shared values and the only democracy in the Middle East, even though the evidence that this isn’t the case continues to grow. It’s hard, I know. Truly I do. Finding out you’ve been lied to, and that you believed it for so long is not easy, and it’s much harder when you are surrounded by people reinforcing it. Friends struggling with the conflict between what they thought before and what they now know, I’m here for you. 

I haven’t written about politics much on this list recently because it’s been overwhelming and also anytime I do I get hit from all sides with people accusing me of contradicting or abandoning a position I never held, or challenging me to explain how this aligns with their (incorrect) assumptions of what my politics must be. It’s amusing, but also exhausting, and I haven’t really had the spare brain cycles to manage it. 

Elsewhere on the internets I have been pretty clear that I didn’t think Biden could win against Trump and I felt that in running with him the Dems were making a fatal mistake. I argued that before the debate debacle and was told I was helping Trump win by even the very mention that Biden was the wrong choice. I was called a traitor and someone even called me a fake democrat, which is especially entertaining as I’ve never been registered as a democrat to begin with. I have a healthy distrust of politicians and think the two party system in the US is a nightmare which I've always refused to participate in. I've been an independent or ‘no party preference’ since I turned 18. I vote for politicians who I believe, personally - based on their actions - will try to do the right thing. Regardless of what party they are aligned with or what they’ve said. I understand that makes people uncomfortable because it's not predictable or easily put in a little box, but too bad. I was raised on hyper political punk rock and hiphop. Dead Kennedys, Public Enemy, Assück, Paris, The Clash, KRS One and countless others. These artists taught me to ask better questions and demand more considered answers. I want the world to be a better place, and a politician repeating vague platitudes and saying they do too simply isn’t enough for me - especially if their actions tell a different story.

I have a deep aversion to “me or else” campaigning, fear based threats are a terrible foundation to build anything on. (I take the same approach with community management, positive framing to encourage positive behavior.) Some people hear politicians making threats and immediately jump in line, I hear them and instinctively say fuck you. I’ve said for a long time that “let me tell you how much the other guy sucks” messaging not only lazy, but it's a losing path that drags everyone down. I'm glad to have seen a growing number of people echo those concerns. Especially the kids these days, younger generations want something to vote for and are exhausted by just being told what to vote against. We're not supposed to be panicked and in fear 24/7. It's not healthy.

So this is partially why the Harris campaign has been a joy to watch. Fun, light hearted, positive statements and aimed at moving forward. Fundraising and polls are shitty metrics, but they are metrics nonetheless and it’s overwhelmingly clear that Biden stepping down was the right move, though none of the Biden dead enders have apologized or admitted in anyway that they might have had it wrong. It's also important to remember that he stepped down because of the demands from people, if everyone had just shut up and accepted the party line, he'd still be on the ticket. So when the people who complained bout criticism of Biden complain about criticism of, well anything else really, keep that in mind.

The Harris’s campaign has united the left in a way that hasn’t happened since the early days of Obama’s first campaign. Her VP choice was a crucial moment - Shapiro would have signaled allegiance to the old guard. It would have told funders they have a strong voice and reassured the Dem power structure that the boat wasn’t going to rock too much. Walz signaled an ear to the people. Normal people without deep pockets or important connections who just want to be able to pay their bills and feed their kids mattered. Walz is a nod to Bernie/FDR. So when that news dropped, I was ecstatic and the energy was palpable everywhere I looked. People had hope, some for the first time ever. That was followed by several days of wonderful, blissful infatuation. It's been finally-hooked-up-with-your-crush-sex awesome. But we all know those early days where everything is perfect don't last.

Earlier this week in Detroit, Harris made the first big fumble of her campaign. People are hurting, for almost a year now they have watched friends and family bombed and starved to death, by an apartheid state with zero accountability, paid for with our taxes. They want it to end, and they want to know someone hears them and cares. Instead they were told to shut up and get in line. Michigan is where the Uncommitted campaign started, Clinton taking MI for granted might have cost her the election. Harris should have been prepared to respond with empathy. She did the opposite. This was a terrible miscalculation, especially for something the campaign had to anticipate would happen.

This reaction shifted the columns, it moved people from “we’re excited for her” to “we’ll put up with her” and others from “we’ll put up with her” to “no thanks.” Her response seemed out of character to the candidate we've seen for the last 2 weeks. Rather than saying “I hear you, we need to solve this” she lashed back with threats. 

There are zero people asking for a ceasefire who want Trump to win. Well maybe not zero, because people are stupid and anything can happen, but in general that’s a ridiculous argument, and voicing it just pushes potential Harris voters away. "With us or against us" is far less effective than "what will it take for you to be with us?" Immediately after the rally I saw several variations of “welp, the honeymoon is over” and that feeling last persisted in the following days. The tone of the feeds and the timelines have changed. Exuberant joy has been swapped with scolding, long winded justifications and embarrassment from people saying they can’t believe they let themselves be so hopeful for the last few weeks. That’s not great.

Worse is the resurfacing of finger wagging Clinton-era indignation. People self righteously asking "why aren't they protesting at Trump rallies??" Really? Because none of the protestors want to vote for Trump, and everyone knows only a fat check will change his position on anything (like electric cars). They want to vote for Harris, they believe if she can see how important the issue is to them she might do something about it. It's not that complicated. It's also the smart move, there's growing evidence that being "soft" on Israel isn't as important as previously thought. This position fragments the left pushing people away, while taking a stronger stance, pushing for accountability, wins those voters back and doesn't lose moderates.

Campaigning and messaging is one thing, but it's not just about the election. Politicians are much more motivated to make commitments before they get elected, and there needs to be constant pressure after they are in office to hold them to that. Anyone telling you "just get them elected, then we'll work on the problems" is running interference. The situation with Israel is a fucking disaster that needs to end. The US can not continue to give lip service to international law while facilitating a genocide.

Reports of sexual violence on Oct 7, now debunked, were published everywhere uncritically and people still reference them to this day as fact, however those same media outlets and talking heads are shockingly silent about the actual evidence, confessions, video and medical reports we have now showing Israeli soldiers gang raping detainees at Sde Teiman, and people arguing that this is justified. In case you missed this story, it's horrific. The rapists, known and still free, are even doing TV interviews calling on the public to support them. Importantly, the people in the camps who are the subject of this abuse have largely been rounded up en mass without any charges filed against them. The double standard here is disgusting.

It's easy to try and look away and say that's a minority view, but there's more proof everyday that this isn't the case. The just released Israel's Reel Extremism documentary begins in the aftermath of Oct 7, interviewing Israeli soldiers and collecting social media posts from those on the front lines. Their own words paint a very difficult picture for anyone arguing that this US alley has "shared values." Again, a challenging but important film to watch.

What do all these things have to do with each other? They are related only in the recognization that just because we believed something yesterday, because we were told it was true by people we trusted, doesn't always mean it is. There's growing research into how and why people leave religions they were brought up in, and the number of Christians in the US continues to shrink with the Catholic Church seeing some of the biggest losses. There are an increasing number of Jewish organizations stating their opposition to Israel's actions. It's not easy to take these positions, but it shows change is possible. The majority of Americans now disprove of Israel's actions in Gaza and a not insignificant number of politicians have spoken up to echo that, though this still isn't enough to get the current administration (or the next one) to take a stand. Yet. Tomorrow can be better, but it requires us looking directly at the situations and problems and addressing them, we can't just look away. Voting matters, voices matter. Don't shut up.

-s