I hope you had a memorable NYE; mine went pretty much as I dreamed it, despite some inner fears that something bad may happen or that I would overdo it.

We were around 15 people in a house when the year changed, and after screams, hugs, and chatting, we exchanged presents through the Secret Santa tradition. I was a bit stressed because I didn’t have a lot of money for presents, but this forced me to be creative and put on a show with my gift. All the crew laughed hard, so it was a W.

I also received excellent gifts from Mponi, Raptor, and Lola (her socks are missing from the pic though).

Then, after the usual miscommunications and different tastes of the moment, along with Q, the “Pharmacist” and Jola, the 4 of us ended up at a home party with really nice vibes. After 2 hours, most of the gang came there as well. Teddy took charge of the decks, and we all danced till the morning.

The girl that was doing the party—she's a really nice person, a pure street kid. I have met her a few times, but the first one was on my last birthday, the day that the bicycle was stolen from me.

And she was like, “Yo, don’t be so sad, listen to me; I have one; it needs some minor repairs, but come and take it.”.

Around 8 a.m., the party was coming to an end, so I took the chance to put on a song and dance alone, which I love to do. As the song was finishing, she came behind my back, stopped me, and said, “Yo, my bicycle's downstairs; take it as you leave.”

I obviously didn’t take it; I wasn’t done with the celebrations anyway, but it was such a nice move by her. I gave her a pack of Lucky Strikes and wished her the best.

Maybe I will go get it in the future when my back gets a bit better. I feel like a half-person without a bicycle.

It was time to visit the Temple again, I thought I would be alone (the mfers have gotten old), but the initial group of 4 of us went together.

We had a good time in Temple; I really wanted to hear some techno and see that window on the ceiling. I think the Pharmacist and Jola left around 10 a.m., so I and Q stayed either dancing inside or sitting outside on the street talking under the bright sun till the Temple closed 2 hours later.

“What should we do now?” Q asked

“We will go to Raptor of course,” I replied

Raptor’s house is very close to the Temple, which was perfect because both Q and I live far from it. Thankfully, he heard the doorbell, so after we came in, and he went back to sleep, we sat on the couches, under the blankets, and talked for a lot of time.

It was the perfect ending for me because we had months to sit just the 2 of us and talk about stuff. Those are the moments that stay and allow you to keep evolving an individual friendship through deep bonding.

2 hours later, Q fell asleep on the couch, and I went to another room to sleep, exhausted but satisfied and happy.

You may think, “Senti, that’s your real definition of “I didn’t want to overdo it”?

I believe yes, cuz there wasn’t a point in that night that I felt that I pushed it, tried to escape, or waited for someone else to save me from myself, contrary to many other similar nights.

And I was exactly with the people I wanted to be with, from the beginning to the very end.

Moreover, I had the chance to transform an imaginary moment that popped into my head a few days before the NYE, into a real memory. It may seem stupid, but I will share it anyway.

I woke up a few hours later in the evening and went into Raptor’s room, shooting to get him up from the bed, “COFFEE TIME, MFER”

Q was also awake, so Raptor made coffee for all of us and sat across me in the living room.
...
I stare at him, smiling

"What are you looking at?"

I stand up and walk towards him.

My cup of coffee points to his own.

Ηe looks at me confused

“Are we going to toast?” he said

“Of course we will,” and as we cheered our coffee cups, I said:

Happy New Year mfer, we survived and this one.

He laughed.

And I had my moment, along with a hilarious photo

This week finds me sick, in pain, and sleeping most of the days, which is bad because I am losing precious time. Initially, I wanted to describe it with details, but now I think I prefer to just write a few lines before making the end point of today’s story.

My back is rugging, so hard that I can’t even walk in my living room
The Meta-511 certificate I waited for so many months (likely) rugged me
I came very close to rugging myself, but despite the temptation being 2 feet away from me for a few hours, I resisted.
Instantly after that, my bank account rugged me in a way that almost made me cry.

But I feel optimistic and actionable at the pace that the circumstances allow.

Like yesterday, after I said no to all the invitations to go out, which made me sad but honestly there was no point in pushing it, I gave all my energy to making a custom GPT to help me pursue excellence in my exams in 2 weeks.

If the feedback and results are good, I think it may be very helpful for students in general.

And also, all these days sitting on the bed, I figured out where I want to be in 6 months; it will be very hard but realistic to do so. And even if I make it real, I will need to deal with my biggest fear every single day.

It doesn’t really matter what the goal is; goals change, habits, routines, environments, and people as well.

But first comes who I want to be.

Kitkat analyzed this exceptionally well here.

“What kind of person do you want to become?”

“Who are we?”

We are what we do to alter who we are.

And I want to become again what I have been so many times in my life.

The Comeback Kid

Support, luck, and money always help however the large majority of the effort needs to come from me. To not rely on miracles but become one.

I am pretty sure that at some point in your past, you were a comeback kid, you thought “Nah I will never be like X or become a Y”

“There is no salvation…”

But I know you did; you wouldn’t read this otherwise.

We have countless examples that can be found—past versions of ourselves, familiar faces, and random people’s stories from all over the world.

The more stories I read and write, the more I actively believe.

And I know that an important reason for this is that I am not writing into the void, but to kind strangers and friends.

So once again(first time in 2024 though)..

Thank you for reading

Until the next story,

Much glitter and love 🪄❤

Senti

We are what we do to alter who we are.