JACKSONVILLE — It just keeps getting better for Boomers in the wake of the wave of recent Bitcoin ETFs.

Baby boomer parents are continuing to show that the tortoise beats the hare and are increasingly surpassing their millennial and Gen Z children in terms of Bitcoin ownership, fueled pretty much entirely by the advent of Bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs).

“It’s all about the long game you punk kids!” yells Buford Jones at a Bitcoin ATM thinking it communicates directly with a generation. A statement that sums up the recent trend quite nicely.

This shift reflects a broader movement towards digital investment and adoption among older generations who are recognizing the potential of cryptocurrencies as a store of value now that it is only one phone call away, being brokered by the man, and they are running out of other assets to horde.

With decades of financial experience (aka sticking it to the youth) under their belts and a keen eye for scooping up the labors of others, many baby boomers have embraced Bitcoin ETFs as a convenient and regulated way to gain exposure to the crypto market, often to the surprise of their degen offspring.

When recently asked about cryptocurrency, 69-year-old new investor Patricia “Pat” Brown voiced, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I just clicked a button, and now I am up 19%. Young people seem to only want to complain about how hard they have it. I’m just not seeing it. Now pour me another glass of red and tell me something worth listening to bright eyes.”

In probably one of the most startling indications of digital gold going mainstream, iconic diner chains, including Golden Corral, Denny’s, and Perkins, have recently made a bold move by announcing their acceptance of Bitcoin payments during the hours of 6 a.m. to noon, showcasing a significant shift in the traditional diner landscape and the foresight to get in front of the coming tsunami of walkers and wheelers strapped with Bitcoin bags.

It is unclear whether this trend of senior citizen good fortune will continue, but the magic financial 8-ball is reporting that anyone under the age of 60 is fucked no matter how many times you shake it.

Crypto is up 16% on the news, but not for you.

For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on X.

February Rug Crew Badge

Grab the latest crew badge and sew it directly onto your Degen Scouts sash.

Join the Discord