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Bitcoin Maxis Refuse Paternity Test for NFTs

The Rug's Mostly Credible Newsletter #11

Letter From The Editor

Dear crossed i's and dotted t's,

Despite the cold weather, there's quite a bit shakin' in crypto land, and February is heating up. For starters ETH may be too ultrasound for its own good as an ethereum brush fire has generated concerns of self-annihilation, President Nayib Bukele minted the El Salvadorian constitution as an ordinal NFT, Gensler is still on the "Just say no to crypto, bro" campaign trail, and metamask has introduced family-plan seed-phrase sharing. Just like Netflix.

When it comes to family responsibility bitcoin maxis won't man up for a paternity test, but there is a guy at your local town hall that thinks "NFT's fix this", and the nation's Brad's and Connor's agree that Solana is the future of blockchain. Not to mention, which is an ironic way to preface something being mentioned, we got a Top 10 Crypto Influencers of 2023 list for you too.

Oh, and Ryan from BanklessHQ got rugged again, there is another episode of UTR available for your listening pleasure, and the February issue of The Rug NFT is forthcoming in the next week or so.

Heres to seven minute abs. Seven.

But First, WTF is The Rug Newsletter?

The Rug is Web3’s mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

If NFTs are the future of ownership, The Rug is the future of satire.  Think The Onion, but we actually understand (and like) crypto. Our Newsletter publication includes:

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The Rug's Newsletter is where you can catch them all in one spot, str8 to your inbox.

Do rug a friend.

The Rug Articles

El Salvador To Mint Its Constitution as Ordinal NFT

El Salvador has lazer-eyed its constitutional right to ordinal NFTs. In this article by Redemption Fox, we look at the maximalist in-fighting that came of it, and other opinions around the twitter-sphere. Zooming out, it's rather fascinating to think that a constitution could be minted on bitcoin, with a specific block number, and permanent place in the time-chain.

“Bitcoin culture already sucks,” Mark Cuban said. “We could honestly use a little more of the El Salvadorans’ joie de vivre.”

Collect this nationalistic treasure an NFT on optimism.

Gensler Says NFTs are a Gateway Token

Gensler will not stop on his, "Just say no to NFTs tour." Despite the fact that frequently youthful audiences are having an opposite reaction to his condemning of the non-fungible token, saying things like, "Gensler wouldn't want me to buy this", the tour has continued unabated. In this article by Zero Mass, we look get a front row seat on the campaign tour.

The talk at Washington was one stop on a campaign called “Just Say No to Crypto, Bro”, which Gensler designed to warn younger generations about cryptocurrency. The “asset, security, currency, or other”, according to Gensler, “is a threat to the youth of this country, who often begin with an NFT or two, then move on to worse things like investing in Cardano.”

Collect this Nancy Regan inspired article as an NFT on optimism.

The Rug's Crypto Influencers of 2023

1. James M. Rockefeller III

James is clocking in at number one.

2. Ethan Totenky

My main man Ethan got los dos.

3. Jane Cambria

The coding whiz snagged numero three.

4. Raj Yadev

Raj dropped in at four.

5. Here's_Anonny

We don't know who it is, but's it's number five.

6. FL4K

Flak got six.

7. Frank O’Sullivan

Sully got seven.

8. Susan Eddington

Susan is number eight.

9. Craig Wright

Crag's number nine.

10. Hon. Mention: Michael Saylor, Vitalik Buterin, Larry David, and BitBoy

Saylor, Buterin, David, and Bitboy, better luck next year.

The Rug Headlines

FAMILY — Bitcoin Maxis Refuse Responsibility for NFTs, Avoid Paternity Test

Bitcoin maxis need to dad up, and accept that they created this. There is no intelligent reason to complain that transaction fees and interest spiking in the bitcoin blockchain is somehow "not good for the currency".

BREAKING — UFO Shot Down in Metaverse

High-altitude hot air balloons in the metaverse are shaking people out of their VR goggles. Is it a bird, is it a plane, is it a hoax? Shoot first and ask questions later seems to be the military policy in the sandbox.

TECHNOLOGY — MetaMask Introduces Family Plan, Up to Eight Users Sharing Same Seedphrase

This is such an innovative feature, you can now share an account with your brother, your sister, their family and friends! Just like Netflix.

BREAKING — ETH Burn is in Danger of Eliminating all Ethereum in Existence

Who would have thought that the whole house could burn itself down, ether and all. It's just that darn ultra sound. [Bat emoji]

MARKETS — Crypto Degen One NFT From Breaking Even

This degen is so friggin close he can taste it.

LOCAL — "Just Make it an NFT" Guy Pushes Sacramento Town Hall Attendees to Breaking Point

This guy has the best opinion about every problem at the town hall meeting in Sacramento.

COMRADERY — Nation's Brads, Connors Agree Solana is the Future of Blockchain

Brad and Connors, agree at last.

The Rug NFT January 2023

Thank you to everyone who minted the January 2023 NFT. If you would still like to collect one they are available on the secondary market via OpenSea for .069 ETH.

Under The Rug Podcast

Under The Rug is a crypto-comedy podcast based on the hardest hitting headlines in Web3. In each episode a rotating cast of the comedians at The Rug get together to chop peanuts, craft jokes, and discuss things semi-crypto comedy related.

Our ninth episode, "What's Kraken?", is now available. In this ninth episode of Under The Rug subjects mentioned included Kraken, Definitive Doom NFT, Snoop Dogg, Larry David legal troubles, Elizabeth Warren's wallet, that Shaq movie, meat suits, Twitter DMs, the Winklevoss band, and much much less…

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