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Charles Hoskinson Has Been Hiding the Cardano Whitepaper in My Backyard for Years and I’m Getting Sick of it

An Editorial by Jeremy Cooper

The Rug
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The Rug, perchy and Dippudo

BOULDER — For the last seven years, Cardano founder Charles Hoskinson has been sneaking into my backyard, between midnight and 4 a.m., and hiding the Cardano whitepaper, and I’m getting sick of it.

Seven years ago I woke up to find my birdfeeder clogged with crumpled-up papers. It was the first time I heard of Cardano, but it wouldn’t be the last. I thought some of the neighborhood kids were pulling a prank on me.

After that, I started discovering copies of the Cardano whitepaper all over — under the hedges, inside my grill, in a hollowed-out tree. Always the Cardano whitepaper in its entirety, always hidden from direct sight, always in my backyard.

I set up a camera to see what was going on, and that’s when I discovered that Charles Hoskinson had been sneaking into my backyard at night and hiding the Cardano whitepaper. He’s been doing this for years now.

As far as I know, I’m the only one he does this to.

I know it’s Charles Hoskinson because I googled him, and sure enough, it’s the face I always see on the camera footage. He doesn’t come every night. There was a six-month period in which he didn’t show up at all, but after that, he was back stronger than ever before.

I told the police, but they said there’s nothing they can do about it because he’s not breaking any laws. I tried confronting Charles. The first time I caught him in the act, I yelled “Hey!,” and he got spooked and ran away. The next night though, he was back, and this time when I yelled, he just giggled and kept on going about his business.

I even bought some Cardano. Maybe it’s all the whitepapers I’ve read over the years, but it actually sounds like a pretty solid idea. Also, part of me thought that maybe Charles would stop if I owned some. But that didn’t work; he didn’t even seem to care.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’m getting so sick of this shit. Please help me find a way to make him stop.

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Charles Hoskinson Has Been Hiding the Cardano Whitepaper in My Backyard for Years and I’m Getting Sick of it