TYSONS CORNER — Tech mogul Michael Saylor wants to buy The Federal Reserve. Inside sources say Jerome Powell met with Saylor at his offices in Virginia last week.

The purchasing of any company for a single dollar, or euro, or pound, is an age-old “token purchase” basically saying we don’t think this company deserves any money, but if you want our managerial skills we’ll take it off your hands for a dollar. In this case, it is a token bitcoin, which is admittedly far greater than any of the other tokens.

In an interview with CNBC Saylor had this to say, “Look The Fed is a private company just like any other private company that has yet to go public and be listed on the S&P 500, or the NASDAQ. The only difference in this instance is that they have access to an exorbitant privilege, the ability to fabricate a monetary premium out of thin air. And we just don't think they are doing that well enough.”

Saylor has been in talks with acquisition experts all week, bumbling in and out of his office doors at Tysons Corner, which is home to many other three-letter agencies. Gregory Samsung is overseeing the financials on the deal and had this to say, “Microstrategy identifies underperforming companies in the tech space and cleans em out, dumps the extra weight overboard, and sells them like they’re brand new. We think we can confidently let everyone at The Fed go except the guy that knows how to — technically speaking — flip the switch on the money printer.”

Apparently, the plan is to print as many dollars as possible purchase the remaining 1.3 M bitcoins, and then sit on those sats for two years before going public

Ark Investor Cathe Wood had this to say about it, “Michael’s really stirring things up in Washington. Word on the hill is he may be positioning himself for a Senate run. Regardless, if he takes The Fed public, we’ve already committed to be involved in the pre-IPO seed funding round, which will only accept bitcoin.” Crazier things have happened in the world of finance, but this one is for the books.

The US Dollar is down 5% against BTC on the news.

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