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SBF Donates 99% of Fortune Ahead of Schedule

The Rug's Mostly Credible Newsletter #6

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The Rug

Letter From The Editor

Dearest Eyeballs. Prescriptions may be necessary.

Wow a lot going on in crypto in the last few weeks. SBF donated 99% of his fortune ahead of schedule, Twitter has introduced Sumo-esque hazing techniques, a Bigfoot NFT was listed on OpenSea, and Binance's CZ and SBF are slated to fight on the playground after school.

After a bye week at BanklessDAO, The Rug is rip-roaring through Season 6, we've shipped another episode of Under The Rug, published a few more articles to our Mirror account, and minted Lil Ruggy on Polygon, which airdrops to OG The Rug NFT Vol. 1 collectors, forthcomingly.

We're gearing up to ship the first issue of our Volume 2. NFT this month (allegedly, supposedly), and we're stoked we shipped a tweet that got over 700 likes on Twitter. Right time + right place = bandwidth.

Plug your noses, let's dive in.


But First, WTF is The Rug Newsletter?

The Rug is Web3’s mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

The Rug places a satirical lens on crypto-culture. Think "The Onion" for Web3. Our Newsletter publication includes:

  • The funniest articles

  • The best headlines

  • Behind the scenes podcasts

  • Throwback newspaper-style NFTs

  • Much, much less

All of the above we aim to produce on a regular basis, and The Rug’s Newsletter is where you can catch them all in one spot, shipped str8 to your inbox.

Do rug a friend.


Articles

BREAKING — CZ, SBF To Fight On The Playground After School

Binance's CZ and FTX's SBF are out for blood. Apparently CZ said, "I want some cocktail, fruit!" during their last encounter. Inside sources say they are slated for a cage match near the monkey bars on the playground at dusk.

In this article by Redemption Fox, we take a look at just how such a match may fair.

The seeds of today’s events were allegedly planted a few days ago in the cafeteria when CZ mocked SBF for having so many letters in his nickname.

Read the full article here, and collect it as an NFT on Optimism for .002 ETH.

TECHNOLOGY — Apple Permits NFTs So Long As They Dont Do Shit

The egg-heads at Apply are long NFTs. So much so that they've authorized integrating them into their coveted app store. There is only one caveat, "they can't do shit" In this article by Frank America we look at just how awesome that could really be.

"If we don't like the tune a particular NFT project is playing, we can just mute them," said a operations lead who spearheaded the initial messaging around the collectibles feature.

Read the full article here, and collect it as an NFT on Optimism for .002 ETH.


Headlines

BREAKING — SBF Donates 99% of Fortune Ahead of Schedule

Everyone loved crypto's golden child Sam Bankman-Fried, and not because he purportedly was going to open a Fried Chicken franchise. In this newest event, his philanthropic goals were put into top priority as he donated, as promised, most of his net worth away.

UPDATE — SBF No Longer Liquid Enough To Open Sam Bankman-Fried Chicken Franchise

SBF no longer has enough liquidity to open that coveted Fried Chicken franchise. It's unfortunate. We were all looking forward to actually getting what we paid for.

CULTURE — Elon’s Process For Onboarding New Twitter Hires Loosely Based on Ancient Sumo Wrestling Hazing

Onboarding tactics at twitter have gone a bit haywire. Some have likened it to the outlandish tactics often employed in Sumo wrestling.

BUSINESS — Revised CEX Roadmap Focuses on Getting CEO in Shape for Prison

CEOs need to get their reps in. Now-a-days it's the DeFi protocols that get settled, and the CeFi exchanges filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, but not before they pay off their DeFi debts. Wow, the power of code!


Under The Rug Podcast

Under The Rug is a crypto-comedy podcast based on the hardest hitting headlines in Web3. In each episode a rotating cast of the comedians at The Rug get together to chop peanuts, craft jokes, and discuss things semi-crypto comedy related.

Our sixth episode, entitled, “Redacted" is now available. In this sixth episode of Under The Rug subjects mentioned included cancelling your credit card to annoy monthly subscription services, Michael Saylor impersonations, the historical personage known as 'Rugstradamus', the multi-leveled nature of calling the merge, mergé, SBF conspiracy because his name is literally Bank Man, and much much less…


The Rug Original NFTs

Between Nov of 2021 & March of 2022 The Rug shipped six classically inspired news NFT’s. This was a Christmas themed late December edition of last year, note the viewing times for DAI Hard, and wELF, and ETH, Actually. Perhaps a Rugstradamus moment was calling the Ohm movement a Miracle on (3, 3) Street. A Vol. II edition of the NFT forthcoming this winter.

Calls to Action

Bonus Content:

Rug Mag was a flash in the pan for us, because we only made one. But it aged well. You can collect it on Rarible.

Sponsor: If you would like to become a sponsor of The Rug, check out our sponsorship deck, and shoot us an email TheRugNews@gmail.com.

Value for Value: If you enjoy our tweets, podcasts, NFTs, or this newsletter, please send whatever you feel it is worth to TheRugNews.eth.