You've probably heard by now but, IT’S A GO! Vogu moves ahead with unprecedented, randomized tar sale. The 7,777 unique tars minted during the recent ransomware attack on Vogu’s manufacturing headquarters will be available for purchase this coming Monday via a massive product-blind sale. Vogu has partnered with The Mar Abierto Casino & Marketplace to facilitate the auction, which will see all bots listed at the same price and distributed at random. Purchases will be made on the Vogu website. In this high-stakes game of probability, buyers will not be able to see their Vogu(s) until the ETH clears. The risk seems worth it. Thanks to Vogu’s failed saboteurs, these brand new tars are made of the finest materials and tech and include attributes from ALL FIVE Vogu models: Core, Ongo, Kouwei, Centurian, and Patrician. Yes, even Patrician. No referral necessary. I have also been informed that special military licensing for Centurian tech will be waived. How did the hackers render such a large, varied assortment of tars in just three days? When seizing control of Vogu’s manufacturing systems, the still-at-large shadow crew used a randomized code to generate thousands of distinct combinations of model attributes. Professor of Cyber Languages Grace Byron notes, “it’s an old school programming technique, very popular in the 21st Century.”
The general assumption is that these dirty mints were a means to exhaust the renowned retailer’s prized resources. However, noted Vogu insider and information broker Sir Issac Lime disagrees: “I think this crew had other designs for the fleet. Why not destroy them? These tars, quite frankly, are awesome.” The source added: “They tried to steal a shipment before. Wouldn’t be surprised if that was the intention here and for whatever reason they couldn’t pull it off.” As to why they couldn't pull it off? I’m guessing Rabbot and his team had something to do with it. While I hate to see an anti-corp scheme backfire, this adventurous gambler and tar guy is already making big plans for Monday. Vogu’s randomized sale of randomized bots is sure to be a landmark event for the robotics market. A Kouwei and Patrician for me, please
Sale starts at 5pm PDT on Monday, July 26th.