Greetings from Nebula 4. Though I’ve been rather busy covering this food shortage, I have managed to keep abreast of all the latest Vogu happenings. Pleased to bring you a quick recap/update…
What a launch, right? Or should I say launches?
On Monday July 26th at 5pm PDT, Vogu, the powerhouse tar retailer, attempted to go live with its historic randomized sales event. 7,777 unique, randomized tars all up for grabs at the low(ish) price of .077 ETH each. Unfortunately, a series of unforeseen technical difficulties delayed the release until the following day leaving the Vogu exec team quite red-faced. Vogu CEO Trackzy said of the uncharacteristic tech gaffe, “this was our first time undertaking such a large-scale, complex sale. Obviously, it did not go as smoothly as we would have liked. We thank our loyal patrons for their patience and understanding.”
Upon the collection’s reveal, Vogu’s PR issues intensified as highbrow tar critics noted a handful of imperfections. Duct taped broken parts. Archaic tech elements like cassette players (a music device from the 1990s). And perhaps the most egregious error—a misspelled Patricians logo (there is only one “r” in Patricians, folks). Vogu (and my own insider sources!) neglected to mention such details when hyping the collection.
While critics remain hesitant, buyers and fans are embracing the collection’s peculiarities. In fact, the secondary market has erupted in the last week—with record sales, trades, and an ever-rising floor. Seems the ownership of a tar with a storied origin (i.e., the product of an unprecedented cyberattack) has a certain cachet. Any of the above mentioned “imperfections” are now a buyer’s asset—a sure sign your bot is of the famed 7,777.
Another asset? A tar from this collection is an invitation to join a fast-growing, passionate community of artists, art lovers, and robotics enthusiasts. In the last few days, we have seen the collection’s potential to inspire all kinds of creative endeavors—including art, music, and streetwear. The remixes are especially exciting—I myself intend to enlist the services of one of these talented artists to give my new tar a fresh look.
Sources indicate that Vogu execs are delighted by the vibrant subculture developing around the 7,777. Although, the community’s rapid growth has taken the brass somewhat by surprise. Hearing rumors that a new exec might be brought in to assist with the company’s new community-based direction.
And what of the culprits who started this whole thing?
After numerous searches and subpoenas, investigators are about ready to rule out any/all Index rivals. A recent tip regarding the return of the notorious terrorist organization (whose name I won’t even mention), not active since its 3588 attack on the Mars bubble city experiment, proved to be another dead end. Mellow Yellow, infamous hacker and vocal Vogu detractor, remains a prime suspect in the investigation, but solid evidence has yet to materialize.
Unverified claims on the whisper network have also implicated Onyx, the much-feared underworld boss and occasional Mellow Yellow associate. Amateur sleuths have noted that the imperfections built into the 7,777 are reminiscent of Onyx’s signature tongue-in-cheek style of mischief. However, his potential motives are unclear as mining rights, which were central to the hackers’ demands, would be a tiresome and very public investment for this impulsive, enigmatic gangster.
Light on substantial leads, investigators are expected to reconfigure their strategies in the coming weeks. Onyx and crew better lay low. Or lower than usual.
Apologies for the lengthy download. Will continue to keep you posted on the latest and greatest tar news. Hope you’re all enjoying your new Vogus!