I went to the Vancouver edition of the Boiler Room event series on Friday, and was having a good time until transphobia reared its head in the ugliest of ways.
What Happened
It started when about halfway through the event I was leaving the bathroom, when a group of 2 girls said ‘THIS IS FOR GIRLS ONLY’. I found it ironic, given there was a large paper sign posted at the entrance stating the bathroom was trans friendly.
It was the first time I’ve ever been accosted in a bathroom, so it shook me a little but I went back down to the event floor and danced for a bit. It’s then that things started to feel wrong.
I’ve had a pretty long and varied rave career, in addition to being a director for the the New Forms Music Festival for 3 years. I know what to watch out for. It started with noticing what seemed like a 1 or 2 people following me. I brushed it off.
Having been a responsible raver and staying hydrated, I needed to use the facilities again. That’s when I noticed those same people following me up to the bathroom, one of them posted up on an exterior wall with her arms crossed and gave me the dirtiest look I’ve ever received.
Later, when I was just taking a breather and checking my phone on that same exterior wall, a man and a woman got uncomfortably close to me. I made a lot of mistakes in how I handled things that night, and not going to security or telling my friends right at that moment was my first.
If there’s one primary safety tip I want people to know, it’s that when your body tells you something is wrong, believe it.
I went back down to the dance floor and now I noticed a group of 6-7 people had encircled me a little bit. A woman in front seemed to be directing them while attempting to hide what she was doing.
I was pointed at, and am pretty sure some of them took pictures of me as well. I would not at all be surprised if those photos are circulating on some transphobic Facebook group somewhere.
My friends and I left, and I noticed that the ring leader of the transphobes was following us again. She seemed to have directed some of her male friends to follow us, one of whom gave me a dirty look as my friends and I got to our car.
What I Want You To Know
I think that something bad would have happened to me had I not been with friends that night. I’m really surprised that I didn’t react ‘properly’, but I think you really don’t know how you’re going to respond to a situation until you’re in it.
It’s not the first time I’ve been hassled at a rave, but this was by far the worst of it. I think that if the Vancouver rave scene doesn’t powerfully stand up and protect trans people who attend their events, bad things will happen even if you are at an event with friends.
Even if you’re not trans, here’s what I think you should do if your body is ever telling you that things are wrong:
Stay in or get to a place with a lot of people around you.
Tell security or police (if they are there) what you think is happening. It is far, far better that you over-react than under-react.
If you’re there with friends, tell them right away.
If you’re there alone, try and strike up a conversation with your fellow ravers.
It was probably inevitable that rising trans hate would eventually hit the rave scene here, and I’m still a little shaken by it. If the community shows solidarity, though, I think that club trash will get the idea that they’re the ones who aren’t welcome here.
