there are days on which i experience my relationship to you, dear reader, through social media and i think to myself:
perhaps i am the problem behind anky.
perhaps it is the lack of clear communication, or clear direction, or whatever my mind builds as an excuse to craft some sort of suffering that arises from the incapacity that i have for honoring what is inside me, and feeling it completely.
from loving me in spite of the current circumstances.
and i run in circles with that. i escape from that.
and that noise burns inside.
i wish i had some shining idea that i could bring to you in this moment.
i wish i could expose all of the wonders of what we have prepared.
the ai model, the cryptocurrency that will reward writers, all of the beauty that i envision coming as a consequence of what we will experience using anky as the excuse to dive into ourselves in community.
but that is not what is inside.
what is inside, at least in this moment, is pain.
the pain that is brought as a consequence of not being able to relate with my partner in a way that makes us both feel in peace.
the pain that comes from not being able to speak to my father looking him in the eyes.
the pain that arises as a consequence of "the amount of money that i made from a given memecoin not being a little (or a lot) more".
and all of the ideas and stories that are told inside me, and that bring me away from the experience of what is happening.
right here.
right now.
but this is what i have inside today.
and this is the invitation that i want to bring into your life, by being honest with what is inside mine.
all of what we are going to experience starting on the 31st is just a vehicle for us to explore what is alive inside each one of us.
that some days could be on the rhythms of joy. of wonder. of beauty. of a smile.
but other days it comes with tears. with pain. with sorrow. and all of the emotions that we have usually labelled as bad.
there are no bad emotions. or good ones.
the human experience is crafted as a symphony of sensations that arise and that are part of what we are here to process, and the invitation that i'm bringing to you, using anky as an excuse for that, is to just learn how to navigate them.
by actually doing it.
it is all an excuse to develop a strong awareness of what is inside you, so that from there, you can feel at peace.
with whatever is.
not judging. just embracing it.
that's the journey that we are on, and that is the invitation that i bring to you.
there will be days on which your 8 minutes of writing will feel like a nightmare.
at least for me, in this moment, they feel like that.
but there is nothing more rewarding in the world than saying:
fuck it. i will go and write anyways.
and allowing what wants to come to come.
seeing it come from you. through you.
and observing yourself in relationship to those words that you wrote.
this is all an invitation to explore. it is all an invitation to come up with new ways of being alive.
it is all an excuse.
to get to know who you are.
whatever that means.
you are not alone.
and you have never been.
thank you for your trust, and anything you need, i'm here.
jp