Fatherhood is a difficult thing. How to be a good father… it is not obvious to me. And I had a good father, and good grandfathers. I can only imagine for those who didn’t how difficult managing fatherhood might be.
Of the two parents in a child's life, mama is the more visible one. The one who birthed them. The one they cling to for comfort. In many families, the ever-present one. Papa is a more distant figure, the one who leaves for work in the morning and comes back in the afternoon tired. The stern one. The one who places kids in time out. Who tries to teach them things they don’t want to learn.
To be a father is to support your children, but to do so in an almost invisible way. To be the steady hand they hold on to while learning to walk. To be the safety net underneath them they cannot see as they climb over bars in the playground. You go out and earn a living for the family so they can live carefree without knowing why you have to leave everyday.
What you try to teach your children is that they can rely on themselves. That they can climb without fear and reach higher than they thought possible. That they don’t need your hand anymore to take their next steps. That they can run without you.
There is an amazing amount of pride in watching your kids run. To be free and wild and not need you anymore. But it is also hard. It is also lonely. Succeeding at Fatherhood is a terribly difficult thing. It is almost as scary as failing at being a good father.
On this father’s day, I just want to say that I see you. I see the invisible work you put in. You are not alone. Even if they can’t see it, be the best father you can be, their lives will be better for it. Let them run, even when it’s hard.
