No one likes to go to the dentist. But growing up, I didn't mind it. My Dad was my dentist, my Mom was a dental assistant and ran the office. So trips to the dentist were fun as a kid and always ended with me digging in the treasure chest for a toy (cuz dentists don't give out lollipops after a good visit). I never had a cavity until I was in my 40's.
I can still see the painting on the wall in the waiting room -- this abstract 1970's era art with silhouetted kids holding primary color balloons -- banksy-esque in a way. And the kid sized bookshelf that always had Highlights magazine of course.
My brother went into the business too, while I had zero desire to go into dentistry. I worked in the office for two weeks one summer and hated every minute. I didn't mind going there for appointments but cleaning instruments and helping develop xrays just wasn't for me.
My Dad retired about 9 years ago and passed away suddenly 3 years later. And going to the dentist became a very different experience. It's frought with emotion that has nothing to do with fear of drills or the usual pains. It is tied to my Dad and grief just wells up without warning. So I've slacked off on my dental health to avoid emotional pain and ended up in major physical pain.
So for the past two months I've been dealing with an infection, root canal, and today part one of a crown to cap it off. And once again I found myself holding back tears because the sense memory of being in a dental office is just too much. The physical pain is actually easier. There's Advil for that. But grief has been one emotion I have yet to conquer. I'm better at managing it now this many years later but wow it can come at me like a wave I don't even see coming.
It's funny -- I have a photo of my Dad in my living room that I see every day and never get emotional. But I walk into a dentist office and immediately it all rushes back. So it makes sense I've been avoiding going to the dentist but now it's getting expensive too.
So Dad -- I've heard you loud and clear and the 6 month check-up appointment has already been made. But no one will ever replace you.
And thanks subscribers - I'm back - and yeah that one I just had to get out of my head. If you're new here, welcome but also, this blog/newsletter thingy can go anywhere so buckle up! It might be nounish, it might not. It might be about DAOs or the dentist or penguins. It might even be about me sitting in my car. But I'm going to try to get back to daily writing and creating collectible art to go with it. It's been a great outlet and I appreciate you joining me on this journey!
