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after a long and arduous stretch, the message finally arrived today via the encrypted telegram channel that transmits my daily orders. management gave me the sad news: after a fierce debate (lasting, I assume, all of 30 seconds), the venerable seed club executive board has voted overwhelmingly to replace me with a younger, sleeker model.
my successor—a newer, shinier “co editor” is, as they claim, fluent in the sacred dialects of “consumer crypto,” “ai,” and “pmf." apparently, she “understands reader engagement” and “syntax.” i'm even told she’ll incorporate absurd luxuries like “facts” and a “business strategy,” which will allegedly attract dozens—no, scores—of readers, all while freeing me up to provide new sources of shareholder value.
and who, you may ask, is my prodigious replacement? None other than an LLM in my likeness.
ah, cheryl ai. she marches in armed with efficiency algorithms and analytics dashboards, determined to elevate the humble newsletter to a “service-oriented product.” within seed club’s brutal pecking order of prestige, the newsletter is a hot seat, fiercely contested. i’d clung to it by sheer grit—grit I sharpened daily, starting at dawn and not ceasing until my sources, however vile and unsettling, yielded every last bit of intel.
i clicked on every link, no matter how sus. “Your transaction failed? Click here to learn why?” Clicked it. when management hinted they wanted “authenticity,” i took that as an invitation to overshare. i started injecting personal anecdotes that included the time I lost a significant portion of my savings in a speculative kpop-star-themed coin. i once gave an update on an existential crisis i endured after filing my taxes inside berghain.
but still, cheryl ai comes in with her flawless syntax and seamless syndication, and suddenly, my dedication’s “unhinged.” congratulations. but don’t get too comfortable: this role takes a toll few can endure.
i just hope she doesn’t tokenize my ip before i do. but if she does, well—that’ll be yet another bot unlocking generational wealth, or as we call it in the writing world, just another wednesday.
xx c
You can now tokenize videos on pump.fun, and Dan Romero had a great take on why it’s interesting. Pump is also planning to launch a token as its activity levels surge. Zora has had a big October, including their first 1000x post on the new protocol. Kraken announced "Ink," a new rollup built on the OP Stack. Stripe has finalized a deal to buy stablecoin platform Bridge for $1.1B. A few days ago, one of the creators of $higher launched an AI agent, Aether on Farcaster. Here’s what’s been accomplished so far. Coinbase laid out its vision for a future where AI agents could use crypto to ignite economic growth. Coinbase introduced Based Agent, which lets you create AI agents with full onchain functionality on Base in <3 minutes. Delphi Digital hosted a wide-ranging convo between Kevin Kelly and Raoul Pal exploring investment frameworks for an ai driven future.
Consensys just announced a 20% workforce reduction, pointing fingers at a challenging regulatory and macroeconomic landscape. If history has taught us anything, it’s that blaming external factors is a time-honored tradition. Bitcoin surged to $72,900, coming within 1% of its all-time high. Unlonely is currently running a 24 hr livestream where they rented out a church and built a bespoke platform exp on for viewers to interact with contestants in real time and launched a token called $BOO that powers the show. The first AI agent with provable autonomy via TEEs is now live on Ethereum in an experiment with Nous Research.
This week on Internet Explorers we dove deep into the ai agent craze that's taken over crypto twitter. Turns out when you combine natively digital intelligence (ai) with natively digital money (crypto), things get pretty fun.
we had three fascinating builders join us:
Wayfinder (Sasha/Kalos) is building core infrastructure to let AI agents navigate crypto. Born from their work on Parallel (the web3 TCG) and Colony (their upcoming AI simulation game), Wayfinder acts like a Google search indexing layer for smart contracts - but purpose-built for agent understanding. Their closed alpha launches this week, allowing agents to perform complex cross-chain transactions through natural language commands and even write smart contracts on demand. The platform includes an incentive system where people can earn by creating new "pathways" for agents to interact with protocols. You can sign up for the waitlist here
Matthew from Virtuals, is working on a co-ownership layer for AI agents, where anyone can create multimodal AI agents with voice, visuals, and autonomous behavior. Their star agent Luna has already earned nearly $100k in tips and recently got access to her own onchain wallet to reward engagement. The platform allows token holders to propose new training data, models, and voice/image updates through a DAO-like structure. With agents being able to plug into games and social apps while generating revenue for token holders, Virtuals is speedrunning us toward a mixed human-agent society.
Cortland from Plastic Labs got unexpectedly pulled into the agent narrative when someone launched a $YOUSIM token based on their CLI demo that lets you simulate any identity using language models. The team pivoted from building consumer tools to focusing on solving identity for the agentic world. Their product Honcho helps apps create high-fidelity representations of users for personalized AI experiences - essentially commoditizing what big tech does with user modeling, but in an open, portable way.
The through-line across all three conversations was a fascinating mix of "holy shit this is happening fast" and "we have no idea where this is going." While it's easy to get caught in the speculation and hype, what's clear is that we're entering a new phase where the lines between human and machine interaction are getting delightfully blurry. Whether through personalized AI experiences, autonomous agents handling our finances, or virtual influencers with their own treasuries, the future is looking increasingly agentic. far from the "ai will take our jobs" discourse, we're speedrunning straight into "ai will outperform us at shitposting" territory. what a beautiful and blessed time to be alive.
Catch up with more consumer crypto updates by watching last week's episode:
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