Towards the end of last year I had to learn how to stand still again. To stare a really difficult situation in the face and deliberately decide to stand still and do absolutely nothing about it for a while.
In this essay I wrote about having an action bias and moving forward relentlessly when in doubt. When I wrote that essay I was in a phase where I was learning to do things even with limited information and lots of uncertainties about the outcomes. And I did learn to move forward, to take action, to refuse to be still, to take steps towards my goals no matter how small.
While I still stand by everything I wrote in that essay, I have come to realise that there is something I didn't consider while writing it. And that something is this: sometimes you make progress by standing still.
I learnt this lesson in December of last year.
Last December I went home for a while because I'd had a really difficult couple of months beginning in July. I had lost my job, tried to switch careers with little success, and was low-key homeless at the time.
My typical response to finding myself in such a situation is to make a detailed, comprehensive plan to fix things and work on making that plan a reality 24/7. I'd have worked 16 hour days, 7 days a week if I could to fix whatever I perceived the problem to be.
But, thankfully, I was burnt out. I'd already been working nonstop from August to November and I needed to rest badly.
So, instead of throwing myself at the problem, I decided to stand still for a while, do nothing about the problem, and collect myself. I was largely inspired by these two tweets.
Looking back at December now, I realise that I absolutely needed to have that time of stillness and reflection. To recollect and recenter myself, decide what is really important to me and what is not, and head into the future with clarity about where I am headed, why I am heading there, and how I intend to get there.
Having an action bias is great and I will keep trying to cultivate that. But what's also great is knowing when to stop, stand still, and do nothing.
I think this is even more important because the world we live in right now is always pushing us to constantly be chasing this goal or that goal. There is no shortage of productivity gurus, hacks, templates, influencers, and courses out there, each promising to help you squeeze out all the value possible from every single minute of your life.
In these times we live in, to stand still is not just necessary every now and then, it is also active rebellion against the zeitgeist.
Of course, standing still does not mean lounging around the house doing nothing, binging Netflix, and eating doughnuts (yes, I'm describing myself, sometimes). That is also a pretty dangerous mode of life, it is as dangerous as the hyper productivity mode, perhaps even more dangerous because you end up achieving nothing and killing time along the way. (For a fuller exploration of what killing time by doing nothing looks like, read this essay: Don't Kill Time)
While I was home in December I helped out with chores, started reading books again, worked on my mom's poultry with her, and even did a little coding (keeping myself to only 4 hours a day as a limit). I also took long walks and spent a lot of time talking to some of my favourite people on the phone.
I aspired for leisure, but the Latin kind of leisure that involves being present and fully involved in the world around you, not the laze-on-the-couch type of leisure. To quote David Perell here: "Leisure is not a time to retreat from the world. Rather, it’s a time for poetry, prayer, and philosophy — a chance to reflect on where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going."
It’s a Latin word for leisure. But not the American kind where you sit around and do nothing. Instead it's about playing sports, contemplating life, reading great books, consuming great art, and walking around town with a cappuccino in hand.
608
Without the experience of standing still in December I would not be moving forward this year with as much clarity as I have at the moment. I'd probably still be hastily, frantically trying to effect the changes I desire to see. Trying to head in one direction today and in a different one tomorrow. Moving along with no definite sense of direction and with no real purpose behind most of my actions.
So, if you feel frayed right now, worn out, exhausted, uncertain about where you are headed, or even possibly unsure where you want to be going, maybe you need to stand still for a while.
Maybe you need to tune out all the things you are trying to achieve that keep driving you to move forward, and spend some time thinking about where you are going and why.
Maybe you need to keep the phone and PC in a drawer and reconnect with the natural world. Drink coffee (or tea). Contemplate the walls of your apartment. Go on long walks. Take long baths. Read a book for leisure again. Call your loved ones. Clean your apartment. Eat fries and watch a movie you've been putting off.
Some poetry. Some prayer. Some philosophy.
Just. Stand. Still.